What will make Me Happy? – The Trap of the
Enemy – Purity 662
Purity
662 02/21/2022 Purity 662 Podcast
Good
morning,
Today’s photo of the shadows
of palm trees falling on a path at the Honeymoon Island State Park in Dunedin
Fl comes to us from yours truly as my wife, TammyLyn, and I decided to take a
hike and enjoy some of God’s creation yesterday while on our honeymoon. However, we discovered that we were not alone
in the wilderness as upon closer inspection this photo reveals that the upper
shadow in this picture contains an eastern diamondback rattlesnake who was
making his way across our path!
Our reptilian friend reminded us that just
like Adam and Eve, we are not alone in this wilderness called Earth and that we
must be careful as we make our way through life. We must not only respect
nature and the wild animals it contains, but we must also beware of the dark
spiritual forces of the enemy who seek to steal, kill, and destroy.
The enemy’s tactics are to deceive us and
to tempt us to make us forget who we are and what’s important in life. He loves to tempt us to make us self
sufficient and to seek our happiness in the circumstances of this world. Satan likes to drive us to distraction
chasing after things that he knows will not satisfy us and that will keep us
busy. It’s a crafty trap that he sets
for us and this morning I was unwittingly ready to run head long into it!
As we enter into the last full day of our
vacation, I was overcome by a sense of urgency this morning as I realized that
our time in Florida is quickly fading away and I have a desire to “make the
most of our time here”. I awoke earlier
than normal this morning with various ideas floating through my head about what
we should do to make it the “perfect day” and I struggled with anxiety about
where we should go and what we should do.
As my anxiety about what choices would be best
increased, I realized that where we go and what we do today really won’t matter
all that much. Luckily, I stopped in my
contemplations long enough to realize that none of the various options for
activities and destinations will fulfill me or make our day “perfect” or make
our honeymoon complete.
So, although I have a few ideas of what we
could do today, I’m not as bothered by it now because I realize that the
important thing about our honeymoon will be the time that TammyLyn and I spend
together enjoying each other’s company.
My desire to “make the day perfect” by
choosing “the right” things to do lies at the heart of mankind’s problems and
reveals the independent spirit of anti-Christ that the enemy loves to sow into
our lives.
Instead of finding peace and joy in our
relationships with God and the people He has put in our lives, the enemy drives
us to distraction to work for or to choose our own circumstantial happiness
that will either disappoint us or cause us to chase after pleasant experiences
continually as a temporary remedy to our feelings of unease.
Recently, I was in a grocery store with my wife,
and I stood back and looked at all the different products and foods that the
store offered and how the store offered various treats, products, and foods
that could “meet our needs” or “satisfy our appetites”. There was everything from fruit and vegetables,
meats, baked goods, and frozen products.
As I looked through the store, I recalled
my life before Christ and how I often would take my kids to the store on the
weekends and how I would buy various foods or snacks to make my kids and I “happy”
and how we would decide what we would buy based on what we were “in the mood”
for. Whatever I and the kids wanted, we
would purchase and consume in hopes it would “make us happy” for the day.
Back then, one of the things I used to grab
to “make me happy” was alcoholic
beverages. While I had a few brands of
beer that I was a loyal consumer of, on occasion, I would feel the need to “switch
it up” and buy a new beer or other alcoholic beverage. My regular brand wouldn’t thrill me so I
would try something new. Alcoholic
beverage companies were only happy to oblige me as there were plenty of potent
potables to choose from and they would even make “seasonal” choices available
to provide options that “put you in the mood” for summer, or autumn, or winter,
or the holidays at various times of the year.
The beer manufactures, and food companies for that matter, continue to provide
their customers with lots of choices to “make them happy”.
Well one time I can recall shopping with my
kids, and we had gotten the food and snacks we wanted for the day, and I just
needed to decide which beer or alcoholic beverage I ‘needed”. On this particular occasion, I just couldn’t
decide. None of the options appealed to
me and I waffled in deciding until the point I was apparently visibly affected by
my anxiety because eventually my daughter said: “Dad, just pick something!”
I don’t remember what I picked that day, I
might have grabbed more than one beverage option, but I do remember feeling a
sense of hopelessness because I realized it didn’t really matter what I picked
because none of the products in the store offered any lasting
satisfaction. Whatever beer or snack
foods I chose didn’t matter because I would just be back to choose more the
following weekend.
So this morning, as I tried to decide which
location or activity we would do today, I realized I was in the same trap as I
was way back when. The enemy loves when
we torment ourselves with our decisions over what will make us happy, and we
forget that the important thing in life is to love the people in our lives and
to love the God that gave us life.
So as I will lead us in whatever direction
that the Spirit moves me today, I will thank Him for bringing us here and for
providing us with all that we have to enjoy as a man and wife on their
honeymoon.
Today’s focus will be on my relationship
with my wife and my God, and I won’t put too much thought in “doing everything
right” or “making everything perfect”.
So as you go through this day, don’t ask “what
will make me happy?” Instead remind
yourself that in Christ, you have the answers to life and death, and you already
have all that you will ever need.
No drink, food, location, thing, or
experience can give you a sense of happiness that can surpass the peace and the
joy that you receive from the Lord when you know you are His and He has set you
free.
Life is all about choices but remember that
the choice that matters is the one to come into harmony with God by making your
peace with Him through Jesus Christ and then making the decision to abide in
Him and to follow Him all the days of your life.
No matter what you choose in life, when you
are walking and talking with God, you can be sure you are going in the right
direction because you will find peace and rest for your soul that comes from
knowing that there is nothing that you lack, for in Christ you have received
all you could ever want or need.
Today’s Bible verse come to us from “The NLT Bible Promise Book
for Men”.
This morning’s meditation verse is:
1
Corinthians 2:16 (NLT2)
16 For, “Who
can know the LORD’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to teach him?” But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.
Today’s Bible verse answers the question: who can understand God?
One of the obstacles to knowing the Lord is false humility. Some will accuse Christians of being arrogant for claiming the assurance of their salvation or claiming to know the meaning and purpose for their life that is revealed in God’s word or for claiming to have a personal relationship with God.
Rather than agreeing with the word of God to know about their heavenly Father, these accusers of the brethren will claim that they have more respect for God because they don’t presume to know anything about Him, as they will choose to accept, or at least consider, all of man’s various views and opinions regarding God.
Instead of saying anything definitive about God or stating what they believe to be true about God, they will consider themselves wise by claiming ignorance and humility.
The questions:
“Who can know the Lord’s thoughts?” And “Who knows enough to teach him?” from today’s verse reflect that ignorance and that false humility.
The logical progression of these two questions shows us how skeptics would claim that we not only can not be sure that we know anything about God (who can know His thoughts) but it also reflects that accusation against those that claim to have knowledge of God or a relationship with Him.
“Who knows enough to teach him?” Could be seen as an indictment that it is best not to even say anything about God because our knowledge of Him is imperfect. It’s basically saying: “Listen, you can’t know God so don’t try to “teach” him to me or anyone else” or it can equally express their belief that someone’s claim of knowing God is the height of arrogance, “Oh I guess you know it all and could teach God a thing or two, huh?”
Well, I love Paul’s use of these questions because their spirit of disbelief is still alive today as it was in his day, and his following statement completes the argument of “who can know God” by claiming the special knowledge that comes through the Holy Spirit that lives in Christ’s disciples: the mind of Christ.
For the non-believer, the things of God are foolishness and the idea of knowing God or teaching others about God are equally foolish because the truth about God is spiritually discerned and the only ones who can truly know God are the ones that have made peace with Him by placing their faith in Jesus Christ and who have been made spiritually alive through the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Christians have the mind of Christ because the Spirit of Christ, the Holy Spirit, lives in us.
So who can know God? Those of us in Christ can! The Lord has been gracious to reveal to us the truth of who He is through the power of the Holy Spirit. We have been given the mind of Christ to know God and to make Him known.
So be confident in your knowledge of God and be bold to speak the truth about Him in the hopes that the Holy Spirit will work through you to teach Him to others.
As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Codependency: Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes
and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to
support his work. This resource is
available on many websites for less than $5.00.
III. Causes of Codependency
What draws people into destructive, codependent relationships? The answer is
most often found in their childhood pain—a past pain that impacts their adult
choices. In reality, codependent people are grown-ups who have never grown up.
The Bible refers to immature grown-ups by using the analogy of infants feeding
on milk instead of on solid food....
"Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to
teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk,
not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not
acquainted with the teaching about righteousness." (Hebrews 5:12-13)
A. What Causes Codependency to Develop in Children?
All children progress through five developmental stages on their way to
maturity and adulthood. God designed the family to provide the necessary
structure for the healthy completion of each of these stages. If as children we
fail to progress successfully from one certain stage to another, our
development will be stunted at that stage, and we will grow up to be
emotionally immature adults. We will develop adult bodies, but—like children—we
will be underdeveloped emotionally. As a result, we will be inclined to be
drawn into codependent, needy relationships. Out of tender concern for the
protection of children, Jesus gave this general, but strong, warning to
adults....
"If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it
would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to
be drowned in the depths of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)
Five Stages of Childhood Development
God bestows on parents the major responsibility of nurturing their children
so that they will not be love-starved—an emotional state that sets them
up to "look for love in all the wrong places."
#1 The Helpless Stage
Babies need to bond with their parents because they are
helpless and totally dependent for all of their basic needs (including the
three inner needs for love, for significance, and for security). If your
parents did not meet your needs, you may have grown into a needy adult who feels
"empty" inside—as if there is a hole in your heart.
#2 The Pushing Away Stage
Toddlers need to begin to push away from their parents as a
way of exploring their environment and setting boundaries. If your parents did
not allow separation, you may have grown into an adult who manipulates
others in order to gain some sense of control.
#3 The Conflict Stage
Young children need to learn proper ways of resolving conflict
as they begin to test their parents' rules. If you did not learn healthy
conflict resolution skills, you may have grown into an adult who lacks
problem-solving skills in your adult relationships.
#4 The Independent Stage
Preadolescent children need to grow in independence, but they
still need direction and support from their parents. If your parents stifled
your assertiveness, you may have grown into a needy, unassertive adult
who is dependent on others to validate you.
#5 The Sharing Stage
Adolescents need to learn mutual give-and-take and even
sacrificial sharing from their parents as they begin to pursue involvement
within their own groups. If you did not see a healthy give-and-take between
your parents or see ways of sacrificially helping others, you may have grown
into a self-focused adult who forms unequal relationships in
order to feel some sense of significance.
Children who grow up being emotionally needy and who are not allowed to
learn the skills necessary for forming healthy, adult relationships never learn
healthy independence. They have difficulty speaking the truth, asking for what
they want, and setting boundaries. They become codependent adults who are addicted
to unhealthy relationships because they never learned anything different.
Ultimately, they are desperately trying to finish what they started in
infancy—to grow up!
Question: "As a parent, how can I keep my
children from having an unhealthy dependence on me?"
Answer:
- —Teach
your children to pray about their decisions and to depend on God to guide
them.
- —Begin
early to train your children to make their own decisions.
- —For
example, early on, allow them to choose between two or three options
regarding the clothing they would like to wear.
- —Praise
your children for making good decisions—they will want to repeat actions
that are praiseworthy.
- —Allow
your children to experience the repercussions of making bad decisions.
Rather than finding a way to rescue them, maintain the boundary line—some
of the most memorable lessons are learned the hard way.
- —Teach
your children the practical principles of decision making in regard to
age-appropriate topics, such as boundaries, chores, friends, curfews,
money, dating, and goals.
- —Encourage
your children to develop friendships with other children and to learn to
give and take in relationships.
- —Teach
your children to take care of their possessions, to perform routine
household chores, and to prepare meals.
- —Show your
children how to budget their money and how to establish spending
priorities.
- —Enroll
your children in group activities or clubs that will expose them to new
experiences, enhance their life skills, and develop their self-confidence.
- —Identify
your child's strengths and find avenues in which your child can succeed in
developing those strengths.
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will
not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
God meant for us to grow. By God's design, you can change and grow in
maturity. You can have mature relationships. By God's power, what has been
ravaged can be restored. What has been ruined can be redeemed. Ask the Lord to
transform your mind with His truth. Realize that the tree rooted in truth will
bear much fruit.
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit
in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." (Psalm 1:3)
Biblical Counseling Keys: Codependency: Balancing an
Unbalanced Relationship.
---------------------------more
tomorrow------------------------
Join our “Victory over the Darkness”, “The Bondage Breaker”,
"Freedom in Christ" series of Discipleship Classes via the
mt4christ247 podcast!
at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts
(https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts,
Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com.
These teachings are also available on the
MT4Christ247 You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTxjSNstREpuGWuL0bF3U7w/featured
Email me
at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be
encouraged.
My wife, TammyLyn, also offers Christian encouragement via her Facebook
Group: Ask, Seek, Knock (https://www.facebook.com/groups/529047851449098 ) and her podcast Ask, Seek, and Knock on Podbean (https://feed.podbean.com/tammalyn78/feed.xml)
Encouragement for the Path of Christian
Discipleship
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