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Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

The Most Sincere Pumpkin Patch – It’s the Holy Spirit, Charlie Brown! - Purity 547


The Most Sincere Pumpkin Patch – It’s the Holy Spirit, Charlie Brown! - Purity 547                                          

Purity 547 10/12/2021 Purity 547 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of a misty morning, fog covered pumpkin patch in Johnsonville NY comes to us from yours truly as I simply had to stop on the side of the road to capture this October scene on the morning of the 7th day of the 10th month.  

The fog wasn’t as thick as pea soup, but you can see that it was substantial as the pumpkin patch was covered in mystery and even the brilliance of the morning sun was shrouded by it. If you have been following the recent events in my life, you may also know that this pumpkin patch and the sun’s brilliance wasn’t the only thing shrouded in mystery on the morning of the seventh.

Although I may have been able to guess that the fog would clear and the sun’s brilliance would dominate creating a pleasant October day, at the time when I took this photo I had no idea that I was to receive information that would lead me to propose to my fiancĂ© later the same day.  

In the aftermath of joy, at her acceptance of my invitation to become my wife, my future life partner and I took some time yesterday to discuss how God had moved in each of our lives to bring us together and how we could have never guessed the far reaching consequences to decisions that we each had made months ago that would eventually lead to us meeting, becoming friends, and agreeing to marriage.  

As two travelers on the path of Christian Discipleship, we had only intended to be faithful to God’s call on our lives individually seeking to serve Him and to know Him more.  In our seeking the Lord, we met each other and as our initial impressions and misconceptions about one another were clarified so we could see the truth about who we each were, we realized that we were both the “sincere” Christians who could fulfill our mutual desires for a Christian spouse.    

Not only did our recent paths lead us to one another for marriage, but the Lord was also working in both our lives to deepen and mature our faith in Him individually.  In the preceding months, I was maturing in my faith by establishing and leading a Christian Discipleship Ministry, starting a podcast, and receiving healing and instruction about the pains of divorce and the contemplation of moving on. 

At the same time, my fiancĂ© was being drawn to trust in the Lord at a deeper level. She was challenged to step out of her comfort zone by going out of her way to seek instruction and to apply the things she “always knew” in her mind about the Christian faith at a heart or experiential level.  Beyond reading a book or gleaning a few insights from a Bible study. she also learned about the truth of the Lord’s presence in her life by asking for and receiving the “baptism of the Holy Spirit”. She also experienced the power of the Holy Spirit in her life to aide her through the Steps to Freedom in Christ to resolve personal and spiritual conflicts to help her to know experientially her freedom in Christ.  

We both marveled over how the Lord worked in each of us individually and how he brought us together.  We can now see how the “blessings” that we each experienced was the result of each of us choosing to “seek the Lord” through surrender and obedience to His ways and repentance from the things of this world that held us back.  

We both recognized that the blessings didn’t come overnight and that our walks were a process of pursuing the Lord’s will for our lives and were marked by our individual desires to do His will with no expectation of specific results.  

I pointed out that although my fiancĂ© had received a supernatural manifestation of the Holy Spirit’s presence in her life, it didn’t come out of nowhere. Before she “received”, she had repented by making a decision to seek the Lord’s will for her life and to be faithful to follow where He led her.  And after hearing about the baptism of the Holy Spirit, she researched what was said about it and most importantly “sincerely” asked the Lord to receive it.  Shortly after her asking, she received.     

Being October, I made the silly analogy that it was like Charles Schultz’ Peanut’s character, Linus Van Pelt seeking to have visitation from the Great Pumpkin.  Linus’ Great Pumpkin theology stated that the GP only “rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is most sincere”. 

Our seeking the Lord, our repentance, our obedience, and our faithfulness to preserve in “walking in the Spirit” and asking for the baptism of the Holy Spirit demonstrates our “most sincere” hearts for the Lord.  

While I can’t codify or write a prescription for how you experience this encounter with the Lord’s presence, all the testimonies that I have heard, including my own, in which someone receives the baptism of the Holy Spirit have the common elements of:

1.    Seeking the Lord (learning and sincerely seeking God’s wisdom and ways from the study of the Bible , and His presence in prayer and worship)  

2.    Repentance (turning from sin, or surrendering from habit that draw us from God, choosing to forsake the world’s ways for the spiritual path of Christian Discipleship)

3.    Prayer  (communing with the Lord in prayer and specifically asking to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, including thanksgiving, worship, and praise).       

Beyond this, I point out that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is given as a sign that is to confirm our faith beyond any and all doubts and that naturally leads to an increased desire for sanctification and service to the Lord.  

I like to be clear and point out that we are not running after experiences, we are seeking the Lord and His will for our lives. While we may have moments of intense peace, love, and joy in the Lord’s presence as we walk out our faith, the purpose of our walk is not “good feelings”. The Lord calls us to follow Him and leads us into “good works” that He has prepared for us to walk into.  

So seek the Lord with a “most sincere” heart and follow the path that He guides you in. Generally, I would say the Lord will guide you to His word, repentance, and good works that will bring Him glory.  

So keep walking and talking with God because even though we may not be “overcome by the Spirit” in a dramatic way every day of our journey,  when we are faithful to follow the Lord we know that He will never leave us or forsake us and that because He is omnipresent, we are always living in His presence.

To see Him in our lives, we only need to look through the mist of the world’s lies and see the brilliance of the Son of God who saves all who put their faith in Him and who calls his disciples to experience the abundant new life that His sacrifice on the cross paid for.      

(There is more content to help you walk out your journey of faith at MT4Christ dot org. You can also subscribe to the mt4christ247 podcast to hear this message, our discipleship classes, and our weekly Bible Study, on Apple, Google, Spotify, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as Audible and Podbean).

#Christian #christianity #encouragement #freedominchrist #christiancounseling #jesuschrist #mt4christ #discipleship #victoryoverthedarkness #Dating #mt4christ247podcast 

Today’s Bible verse is drawn from “The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men”.  

This morning’s meditation verses are:

Philippians 2:12-13 (NLT2)
12  Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.
13  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

 

Today’s verse points to the individual responsibility of every Christian to obey the Lord with the simple desire to do that which pleases Him.  

Today’s verse speaks of the integrity of the Christian disciple.  The Philippians “always followed” Paul’s instructions when he was present with him, but he is clear to point out to them that just because he is “out of sight, and out of mind” it doesn’t mean that you stop obeying the Lord’s will for your life.

One definition of integrity that is thrown around Christian circles is that integrity is “doing the right thing when no one is watching.”  In truth, because God is omnipresent and omniscient, Someone is always watching: God.  

But the idea behind that definition of integrity, is the proving of the “sincerity” of our beliefs or Christian faith.  Do you really believe what you say you believe or are you just “putting on a show”?  When no one is watching, are your actions consistent with your faith?  

But I always like to make sure that Christians understand that “doing the right thing”, even when no one is watching, isn’t necessarily going to confirm your faith.  

“Doing the right thing” is great but are you doing it for the right reasons? 

Today’s verse encourages us to “follow instructions” but it also points to our proper motivation: our relationship with the Lord.   We are to have “deep reverence and fear” for the Lord which I would equate to “proper understanding and respect for the Lord”. 

Deep reverence comes from properly understanding that God is who He says He is: the eternal, unchanging, all powerful, all knowing, loving, good, and holy Creator of all things.

Fear comes from respecting who God is and realizing that the proper response to Him as our Sovereign King, who graciously made a way for us to be forgiven and reconciled to Him, is obedience and love.

When we are in relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, we receive the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.   Thus as verse 13 says:

“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

 

Our “doing the right thing” is only a demonstration of our faith when we “do it for the right reason”: loving God, having the heartfelt desire “to do what pleases Him,”.  

 

So as disciples of Jesus Christ, the buck stops here. We individually must “do the right thing” which is to obey the Lord’s instructions – not out of a fear of punishment – we have been forgiven and promised eternal life after all-  but out of our desire to do what pleases God. We are motivated to keep walking in the spirit not to please men, or even with the hope to receive rewards, we surrender our lives to the Lord’s ways and service because we love Him.     

 

So rejoice in the new life that was graciously bought for you, do what is pleasing to the Lord, and be assured that not only are you doing the right thing when no one else is around, you are doing it for the right reason, your love for the One who made it all and gave it all for you.  

 

 

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating  

 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

E. What Is the Progression of Courtship?

Kyle no longer feels nervous when he knocks on Jennifer's door. When her mother or father answers, he is invited in immediately—no longer an intruder who might steal away their little girl. Now his presence is welcome as if he were one of the family. For months on end, Kyle has earned an invisible emblem of honor by proving himself trustworthy. Likewise, Jennifer feels comfortable in his company, at ease and safe under his caring protection.

Progressing from acquaintance to friendship to something more has moved at a snail's pace...but both know this has been time well invested in their future. And now the time has come for the next step in their courtship. With the blessing of her parents, Kyle kneels down and takes Jennifer's hand in his...asking her to be his bride, for he knows the treasure he has found in Jennifer and...

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22)

The primary difference between dating and courtship lies in the intent of the relationship.

For many, the dating relationship is driven by romantic connection for the sole purpose of enjoyment. Casual daters "try on" other people to see how well they fit—their looks, their personality, their style. Dating can sometimes be more centered on self. And while there may be awareness that marriage could be considered, the presiding purpose for casual dating is immediate pleasure.

In a courting relationship, both people understand that the purpose of the relationship is to consider marriage. Courting takes a long-term view. It's not simply a Christian way of dating, nor is there anything "casual" about the approach. Courting is best suited to those who are spiritually and emotionally ready for marriage—those who give sincere love—not based on emotion, but on devotion....

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." (Romans 12:9)

The Progression of Courtship

  • Commitment to Christ
    • Be confident of who you are in Christ: Your identity, love, significance, and security are in Him.
    • Look for a mate among like-minded individuals, equally committed to Christ.
  • Integrated Interests
    • Serve the Lord in ministry, utilizing your God-given talents and gifts.
    • See who works alongside you in ministry, serving in similar areas.
  • Address Appropriate Areas
    • Lay the foundation for relationship by ensuring your emotional healing from past pain.
    • Prepare for building a relationship by developing spiritual maturity and godly character.
  • Find Friendship
    • Acquaintance: Focus on being content in Christ and serving God as a single person.
      • Refrain from emotional intimacy.
      • Casual interaction is acceptable, but avoid one-on-one activities.
    • Casual Friendship. Participate in church activities with other individuals in group settings.
      • Refrain from emotional intimacy.
      • Share surface feelings but avoid one-on-one activities.
    • Close Friendship. Share God's vision, discover spiritual gifts, limit intimate one-on-one talk.
      • Share deeper feelings but limit emotional involvement or attachment.
      • Focus on external social activities instead of one-on-one intimate activities.
      • Side hugs are acceptable.
    • Intimate Friendship: Engage in spiritual talk at its deepest, most intimate level. Discuss possibility of marriage and the purpose of courtship as related to your love for God. Discuss the need for spiritual accountability.
      • Share your innermost thoughts, fears, failures, hopes, and dreams.
      • Support each other in times of crisis, pain, and joy. Limit one-on-one emotional interaction.
      • Side hugs and holding hands are acceptable.
  • Acquire Accountability
    • —Begin to become one spiritually, spending one-on-one time in shared prayer and in church.
    • —Commit your courtship to glorify God and help each other grow in Christ.
    • —Start pre-engagement counseling. Seek parental or godly counsel for accountability.
  • Promising Purity
    • —Discuss and document boundaries and limits of a pure relationship.
    • —Increase one-on-one emotional time together.
    • —Side hugs, holding hands, short kisses are acceptable. Limited cuddling.
  • Entering Engagement
    • —Continue becoming one spiritually through prayer, Bible study, church attendance; seek shared ministry opportunities.
    • —Spend one-on-one time sharing deep emotional feelings through vulnerable communication.
    • —Increase holding hands, light kissing and hugging (with caution), and nonsexual touching (not intimate areas).

As the relationship moves toward marriage, continue growth and maturity in becoming unified through prayer, Bible study, church involvement, and ministry. Relate at the deepest spiritual level. Make more and more decisions together as one in Christ. Set aside time each day to share feelings and reflect Christ's love....

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus." (1 John 4:16-17)

Biblical Counseling Keys: Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

Monday, October 11, 2021

When It’s All Been Said and Done – Are they a Christian in the Dark? - Checking the Clues 10 - Purity 546


 
When It’s All Been Said and Done – Are they a Christian in the Dark?  - Checking the Clues 10 - Purity 546     

Purity 546 10/11/2021     Purity 546 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of the view of from the top of Whiteface Mountains that apparently captures “aspects of positive and negative space” comes to us from a friend who quickly  became a fiancĂ© when it became clear that we both viewed each other with love and could both “see” that we would like to spend the rest of our lives together as man and wife.  

But just as the view from the top of Whiteface Mountain was somewhat hazy when I joined my fiancĂ© and several members of her family to take a gondola ride to the summit on Saturday, the view of the future, how we will work out the details of our wedding, and how we will live as husband and wife are still “up in the air” and unclear.  The prospects of the changes on the horizon are both exciting and somewhat alarming as the consequences of two becoming one in the bonds of marriage will have far reaching and unforeseen circumstances.  

Although I will keep it real in admitting that some friends and family have voiced their surprise, concern, and objections, over our “whirl wind” decision to marry,  I must admit that I have had a lot of peace in the process of making my friend a fiancĂ© and meeting the people that will be a part of our new family as the vast majority of my prospective in-laws have been warm, friendly, and receptive.     

I was also surprised by how at peace you could be when you make other decisions that will change how you have lived for years in significant ways.   I have been on the worship team as an audio-visual technician at Rock Solid Church for nearly ten years and decided yesterday to inform the team of my decision to marry in the near future and of my intention to find a replacement for my position and to no longer serve on the team after the first of January to be available to worship the Lord at my wife’s side every Sunday no matter where we find ourselves in our new life.          

As I was driving to my fiancĂ©’s place after attending her brother’s Christian “growth group”, Robin Mark’s “When it’s All Been Said and Done” popped up in the older playlist I had selected and I was shaken by how the lyrics, flutes, and strings seemed to convey the revelation of an all knowing and sovereign God that knew that this present course was to be a part of my life’s journey long before I could ever dream of these changes coming to pass.  The lyrics say:

“When it's all been said and done

All my treasures will mean nothing

Only what I have done

For love's rewards

Will stand the test of time”

I was quite moved in my spirit, hearing these lyrics, and realizing that finding a woman who is the answer to my prayers for a Christian life partner was in God’s plans and that one of the consequences for my decision to live by faith in the power of the holy Spirit was to come into one of “love’s rewards” that will stand the test of time.  

The sweeping changes that lie ahead in my life reveal that although we try to “see around the corners” of the future when we “walk in the Spirit” by predicting and speculating about where “this” is all leading, we actually are totally dependent on God’s plan for our lives and the way that He shapes our journey as I am realizing that all my presumptions and expectations for the my latter days of my life were based on incomplete information. Only God knows our futures perfectly.

With this latest revelation this morning, I have been greeted in my imagination by children’s televisions Blue and Dr. Suess’s Sam I am who have informed me that this 10th installment of our current series of “Checking the Clues” of a potential life partner’s authentic Christian faith will be the last. 

Blue informs me that after today we will have given enough “clues” for our friends to use to find a Christian spouse, and that today’s inquiry from Sam I am, will equally apply to us as advice and encouragement on the path of Christian Discipleship, as well as a possible category for evaluating someone else’s faith life.   

For his final question, Sam I am advises us to think deeply and to consider his inquiry from multiple points of view and then asks:

“Are they a Christian in the dark?”  

As I contemplate the idea of darkness and my walk of faith, there are a few things we should consider in terms of evaluating “Christian authenticity” in someone’s life.   The word says that we will know Christ’s disciples by their fruit so if we are evaluating a potential life partner’s faith life we should observe their attitudes and actions even in “darkness” to see if their faith is evident.  

The first consideration of darkness comes straight from

1 John 1:6 (NKJV)  which says:
6  If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
  

So, if our potential life partner who claims to be a Christian is “walking in darkness”, they are lying and not practicing the truth.  

So what is darkness here? The NLT translates this verse to convey “spiritual darkness” which would be revealed by someone who has doubts about or fails to believe the doctrines of grace or who holds beliefs that are not Christian.  The degree of authentic Christian faith is directly proportional to the level of someone’s belief and trust in what the Bible teaches. The more doubt or holding of views outside of scripture the more “spiritual darkness” there is in someone’s life.  

I wanted to point out the spiritual aspects and the importance of belief in considering someone’s faith first because we are saved by, and called to live by, “faith”.   If people reveal that they don’t really believe the Bible or hold beliefs that contradict it, their “Christian” faith isn’t as authentic as they may think.  

The second aspect of darkness that can be drawn from the context of John’s epistle is the “darkness” of sin.  If someone claims to be a Christian but lives a lifestyle that includes behaviors that are “sinful”, their Christian faith is either not authentic or is immature. 

If we have our eyes open, we can see the darkness of unbelief or sin in their lives.  While it is everyone’s own decision who they marry, if the desire is live as Christians, we would want to avoid potential partners who live in darkness.  

The second aspect of “darkness” that I can see as a Christian counselor is the “darkness” of depression.   If your potential life partner who claims to be a Christian, has a negative view of life, and seems to dwell in a den of depression we must be discerning in determining if we want to walk out the rest of our days with someone who we may have to constantly encourage and whose Christian faith may not be as authentic as we may think. 

The word commands us to rejoice and speaks about the joy of the Lord as the Christian’s strength.  Someone with a negative view on life or that suffers from depression may be immature or disingenuous in their faith or has failed to apply their faith to their lives or may suffer from demonic oppression.

Am I saying that Christians can’t be depressed? Absolutely not! But I am saying you may want to really consider all the possibilities in choosing a life partner who suffers from depression, including the possibility that their faith may not be authentic.  

As someone who has experienced with suffering from depression individually and has had relationships with individuals who have suffered from depression, I try not to address hypothetical scenarios when evaluating depression in Christians. I don’t know any hypothetical people and neither do you. While I admit the real need for medications to treat depression in some cases, I profess the universal need of all real-life “Christians” to repent, renew their minds with the word of God, and to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  

If your potential life partner suffers from depression and is unwilling or unable to use their “Christian faith” as part of their condition’s treatment you may be receiving a “clue” of the true condition of their faith and the difficulties that would lie in being in a committed relationship with them.  

So consider and choose according to where the Lord leads you in this area. As someone who was in relationship with depressed individuals, I can assure you that living with depression is difficult for both parties and is even worse when you are unequally yoked.  

The final take on “darkness” that we will consider is the “darkness” of times of uncertainty or suffering.    The authenticity of, and great value of, our Christian faith is often best proven in times of suffering and times of uncertainty.  How people deal with suffering and uncertain outcomes can help us get an indication of what they truly believe.  

Ideally, Christians would meet suffering and uncertainty with faith. So if your potential life partner is faced with suffering or uncertainty and their response fails to demonstrate aspects of Christians spiritual practices, we may see that their faith is immature or non-existent.  

Again, we are not measuring everyone by the levels of their faith to guess their final destination in eternity, our purposes in this series and in this blog in general is to encourage discernment in our relationships as well as our faith walk. 

We have come to know the incredible power of God that can help us to overcome the problems that we face on earth through walking in the Spirit on the path of Christian Discipleship. So we encourage Christians to believe that the word of God is true, apply it to their lives, and to live continually seeking the Lord and living by faith.   

The best way to find an authentic Christian to be a life partner is to be authentic Christian yourself. So keep walking and talking with God because if you truly live by faith you will rejoice and have joy in your life whether you walk out the rest of this life with a Christian spouse or with just the Holy Spirit by your side.  Either way, God will never leave us or forsake us.       

    

Today’s Bible verse is drawn from “The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men”.  

This morning’s meditation verse is:

Romans 12:6 (NLT2)
6  In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.

Today’s verse encourages us to use the gifts that we have been given and to speak the truth in accordance with our faith.   

Paul’s epistle to the Romans informs us that we all have been given different gifts that are given to us by God and that they are to be used.   So while we might not consider ourselves as especially gifted or talented in the spiritual realm or in general, today’s verse tells us that we have some God given gifts that we should utilize for God’s glory.   

Every Christian can do something to give God glory with the gifts they have been given.  Our particular gifts are given to us to fulfill our purpose in Christ.

If you are not sure what your gifts are you can ask other people in your life what they think your gifts and strengths are or you could seek out a “spiritual gifts test” to tell you what your gifts are.   But the key to remember is that once you learn what your gifts are, is to be diligent to use them!   

The gift of prophecy, which in the New Testament context includes preaching, encouraging, and exhorting, is mentioned here and Paul encourages us to prophesy in proportion to our faith.  

Now while we may be hesitant to drop a “Thus sayeth the Lord” future prediction”, we can all preach, encourage, or exhort to some extent, according to the measure of our faith.  

Our preaching can simply include our personal testimony or insights we have gained from the word. So yes, everybody could preach.  

Likewise, if we have come into the Christian faith by making Jesus our Lord and Savior, we should be able to encourage or exhort others to do likewise or to trust the Lord for other areas of life.  

So determine what God has gifted you with and use them for His glory.  God saved us for a reason, and He gave us certain talents and abilities to help us to fulfill our purpose in Him. Listen for the call of God on your life to use your gifts because if you step out in faith and bless others and give glory to God, you just may find yourself prophesying to others to do the same.

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating  

 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

. What Is the Difference Between Infatuation and True Love?

Laura is in love! Laura is in love with love. And although she frequently dates, Laura rarely relates. The few boyfriends she's had in the past throw in the towel within a short period of time because dating Laura is almost exclusively about... Laura.

When meeting a new man, Laura enjoys laughing and flirting...wining and dining...dancing and romancing. But soon the fantasy fades and reality sets in with an oblivious lack of commitment to moral character. Suddenly Laura—or more often the man—loses interest. But Laura doesn't let her heart languish for long....Almost immediately she is looking again for something she labels as "love." What irony in this truth...

"The heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." (Ecclesiastes 7:4)

Everyone has felt infatuation to one degree or another. Everyone has experienced "puppy love" at one time or another. Did you ever take the long way around in order to walk by a certain someone or that someone's desk...or locker...or house? Did you take special care to look especially attractive on days when you thought your paths might cross? Did your heart skip a beat when you looked up and unexpectedly caught a glance from him...or her? Is that feeling actually love...or is it love's pseudopersona...infatuation'? Sometimes it's difficult to discern—especially if the one you have these feelings for doesn't seem to feel the same way.

  • Infatuation is a form of emotional obsession, an expression of excessive admiration or foolish love void of sound judgment.
    • —Infatuation is a powerful feeling, but it is based more on the idea of someone than it is on who the person actually is.
    • —Infatuation does not last because it's not based on reality.
  • Love seeks the highest good of another person, does what is in the best interest of another person. People throughout the ages have asked, "What is true love?" Our most authoritative source for understanding the true nature of love comes from God as revealed in His Word.
    • —Love is an action.
      "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).
    • —Love is a decision.
      "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).
    • —Love is work.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Love and relationships take effort. There is no fairy-tale formula for true love. God's Word, along with time and maturity, will give you the ability to discern fantasy from reality. Until then, waiting for sound reasoning will guard your heart from being hurt. ...

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

Infatuation vs. Love

In differentiating between love and infatuation, consider these differences...

Infatuation

Love

• Sudden

• Gradual

• Highly emotional

• Faithfully consistent

• Idealistic

• Realistic

• Based on feelings

• Based on commitment

• Weakened by separation

• Strengthened by separation

• Seeking to find happiness

• Seeking to give happiness

• Focusing on external looks

• Focusing on internal character

• Seeking to get

• Seeking to give

• Possessive

• Freeing

• In love with "emotion"

• In love with "devotion"

God, the Source of love, tells us through His written Word...

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.... let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:16-18)

Live-In Boyfriend

Question: "My live-in boyfriend says he loves me, but just isn't ready to marry. We're already living as though we are married. What can I do to change his mind?"

Answer: If your boyfriend can sexually "have his cake and eat it too," what is his motivation for getting married? When you engage in the sexual acts of love outside of marriage, you are minimizing the essence of love. According to God's Word, neither of you is truly showing love to the other when you engage in premarital sex. Begin now by either moving out or having him move out.

If your boyfriend really loves you, he will want you (not just sex) and will be willing to wait until the wedding vows are said.

"It [Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking." (1 Corinthians 13:5)


Biblical Counseling Keys: Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

 

 

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Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship