When It’s All Been Said and Done – Are they a Christian in the Dark? - Checking the Clues 10 - Purity 546
Purity 546 10/11/2021 Purity 546 Podcast
Good morning
Today’s photo of the view of from the top of Whiteface Mountains that apparently
captures “aspects of positive and negative space” comes to us from a friend who
quickly became a fiancé when it became
clear that we both viewed each other with love and could both “see” that we
would like to spend the rest of our lives together as man and wife.
But just as the view from the top of Whiteface Mountain was somewhat hazy
when I joined my fiancé and several members of her family to take a gondola
ride to the summit on Saturday, the view of the future, how we will work out
the details of our wedding, and how we will live as husband and wife are still “up
in the air” and unclear. The prospects
of the changes on the horizon are both exciting and somewhat alarming as the consequences
of two becoming one in the bonds of marriage will have far reaching and
unforeseen circumstances.
Although I will keep it real in admitting that some friends and family
have voiced their surprise, concern, and objections, over our “whirl wind”
decision to marry, I must admit that I
have had a lot of peace in the process of making my friend a fiancé and meeting
the people that will be a part of our new family as the vast majority of my
prospective in-laws have been warm, friendly, and receptive.
I was also surprised by how at peace you could be when you make other
decisions that will change how you have lived for years in significant
ways. I have been on the worship team
as an audio-visual technician at Rock Solid Church for nearly ten years and decided
yesterday to inform the team of my decision to marry in the near future and of
my intention to find a replacement for my position and to no longer serve on
the team after the first of January to be available to worship the Lord at my
wife’s side every Sunday no matter where we find ourselves in our new life.
As I was driving to my fiancé’s place after attending her brother’s
Christian “growth group”, Robin Mark’s “When it’s All Been Said and Done”
popped up in the older playlist I had selected and I was shaken by how the lyrics,
flutes, and strings seemed to convey the revelation of an all knowing and sovereign
God that knew that this present course was to be a part of my life’s journey long
before I could ever dream of these changes coming to pass. The lyrics say:
“When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I have done
For love's rewards
Will stand the test of time”
I was quite moved in my spirit, hearing these lyrics, and realizing that
finding a woman who is the answer to my prayers for a Christian life partner was
in God’s plans and that one of the consequences for my decision to live by
faith in the power of the holy Spirit was to come into one of “love’s rewards”
that will stand the test of time.
The sweeping changes that lie ahead in my life reveal that although we
try to “see around the corners” of the future when we “walk in the Spirit” by predicting
and speculating about where “this” is all leading, we actually are totally
dependent on God’s plan for our lives and the way that He shapes our journey as
I am realizing that all my presumptions and expectations for the my latter days
of my life were based on incomplete information. Only God knows our futures perfectly.
With this latest revelation this morning, I have been greeted in my
imagination by children’s televisions Blue and Dr. Suess’s Sam I am who have
informed me that this 10th installment of our current series of “Checking
the Clues” of a potential life partner’s authentic Christian faith will be the
last.
Blue informs me that after today we will have given enough “clues” for
our friends to use to find a Christian spouse, and that today’s inquiry from
Sam I am, will equally apply to us as advice and encouragement on the path of Christian
Discipleship, as well as a possible category for evaluating someone else’s faith
life.
For his final question, Sam I am advises us to think deeply and to
consider his inquiry from multiple points of view and then asks:
“Are they a Christian in the dark?”
As I contemplate the idea of darkness and my walk of faith, there are a
few things we should consider in terms of evaluating “Christian authenticity” in
someone’s life. The word says that we
will know Christ’s disciples by their fruit so if we are evaluating a potential
life partner’s faith life we should observe their attitudes and actions even in
“darkness” to see if their faith is evident.
The first consideration of darkness comes straight from
1 John 1:6 (NKJV) which
says:
6 If we say that we have
fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the
truth.
So, if our potential life partner who claims to be a Christian is “walking
in darkness”, they are lying and not practicing the truth.
So what is darkness here? The NLT translates this verse to convey “spiritual
darkness” which would be revealed by someone who has doubts about or fails to believe
the doctrines of grace or who holds beliefs that are not Christian. The degree of authentic Christian faith is directly
proportional to the level of someone’s belief and trust in what the Bible
teaches. The more doubt or holding of views outside of scripture the more “spiritual
darkness” there is in someone’s life.
I wanted to point out the spiritual aspects and the importance of belief
in considering someone’s faith first because we are saved by, and called to
live by, “faith”. If people reveal that
they don’t really believe the Bible or hold beliefs that contradict it, their “Christian”
faith isn’t as authentic as they may think.
The second aspect of darkness that can be drawn from the context of John’s
epistle is the “darkness” of sin. If
someone claims to be a Christian but lives a lifestyle that includes behaviors
that are “sinful”, their Christian faith is either not authentic or is
immature.
If we have our eyes open, we can see the darkness of unbelief or sin in
their lives. While it is everyone’s own
decision who they marry, if the desire is live as Christians, we would want to
avoid potential partners who live in darkness.
The second aspect of “darkness” that I can see as a Christian counselor
is the “darkness” of depression. If
your potential life partner who claims to be a Christian, has a negative view
of life, and seems to dwell in a den of depression we must be discerning in
determining if we want to walk out the rest of our days with someone who we may
have to constantly encourage and whose Christian faith may not be as authentic
as we may think.
The word commands us to rejoice and speaks about the joy of the Lord as
the Christian’s strength. Someone with a
negative view on life or that suffers from depression may be immature or
disingenuous in their faith or has failed to apply their faith to their lives
or may suffer from demonic oppression.
Am I saying that Christians can’t be depressed? Absolutely not! But I am
saying you may want to really consider all the possibilities in choosing a life
partner who suffers from depression, including the possibility that their faith
may not be authentic.
As someone who has experienced with suffering from depression
individually and has had relationships with individuals who have suffered from
depression, I try not to address hypothetical scenarios when evaluating
depression in Christians. I don’t know any hypothetical people and neither do you.
While I admit the real need for medications to treat depression in some cases,
I profess the universal need of all real-life “Christians” to repent, renew
their minds with the word of God, and to take every thought captive to the
obedience of Christ.
If your potential life partner suffers from depression and is unwilling
or unable to use their “Christian faith” as part of their condition’s treatment
you may be receiving a “clue” of the true condition of their faith and the
difficulties that would lie in being in a committed relationship with
them.
So consider and choose according to where the Lord leads you in this
area. As someone who was in relationship with depressed individuals, I can
assure you that living with depression is difficult for both parties and is
even worse when you are unequally yoked.
The final take on “darkness” that we will consider is the “darkness” of
times of uncertainty or suffering. The
authenticity of, and great value of, our Christian faith is often best proven
in times of suffering and times of uncertainty.
How people deal with suffering and uncertain outcomes can help us get an
indication of what they truly believe.
Ideally, Christians would meet suffering and uncertainty with faith. So
if your potential life partner is faced with suffering or uncertainty and their
response fails to demonstrate aspects of Christians spiritual practices, we may
see that their faith is immature or non-existent.
Again, we are not measuring everyone by the levels of their faith to
guess their final destination in eternity, our purposes in this series and in
this blog in general is to encourage discernment in our relationships as well
as our faith walk.
We have come to know the incredible power of God that can help us to overcome
the problems that we face on earth through walking in the Spirit on the path of
Christian Discipleship. So we encourage Christians to believe that the word of
God is true, apply it to their lives, and to live continually seeking the Lord and
living by faith.
The best way to find an authentic Christian to be a life partner is to
be authentic Christian yourself. So keep walking and talking with God because
if you truly live by faith you will rejoice and have joy in your life whether
you walk out the rest of this life with a Christian spouse or with just the
Holy Spirit by your side. Either way,
God will never leave us or forsake us.
Today’s Bible verse
is drawn from “The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men”.
This morning’s meditation verse is:
Romans 12:6 (NLT2)
6 In his grace, God has given
us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the
ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.
Today’s verse encourages
us to use the gifts that we have been given and to speak the truth in
accordance with our faith.
Paul’s epistle to
the Romans informs us that we all have been given different gifts that are
given to us by God and that they are to be used. So while we might not consider ourselves as
especially gifted or talented in the spiritual realm or in general, today’s verse
tells us that we have some God given gifts that we should utilize for God’s glory.
Every Christian can
do something to give God glory with the gifts they have been given. Our particular gifts are given to us to
fulfill our purpose in Christ.
If you are not sure
what your gifts are you can ask other people in your life what they think your
gifts and strengths are or you could seek out a “spiritual gifts test” to tell
you what your gifts are. But the key to
remember is that once you learn what your gifts are, is to be diligent to use
them!
The gift of
prophecy, which in the New Testament context includes preaching, encouraging,
and exhorting, is mentioned here and Paul encourages us to prophesy in
proportion to our faith.
Now while we may be
hesitant to drop a “Thus sayeth the Lord” future prediction”, we can all
preach, encourage, or exhort to some extent, according to the measure of our
faith.
Our preaching can
simply include our personal testimony or insights we have gained from the word.
So yes, everybody could preach.
Likewise, if we have
come into the Christian faith by making Jesus our Lord and Savior, we should be
able to encourage or exhort others to do likewise or to trust the Lord for
other areas of life.
So determine what
God has gifted you with and use them for His glory. God saved us for a reason, and He gave us
certain talents and abilities to help us to fulfill our purpose in Him. Listen for
the call of God on your life to use your gifts because if you step out in faith
and bless others and give glory to God, you just may find yourself prophesying
to others to do the same.
As
always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from
prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with
their walk.
Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Dating:
Secrets to Great Relating When Dating
As always, I share this information for educational purposes
and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and
to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several
sites for less than $5.00:
. What Is the Difference Between Infatuation and True Love?
Laura is in love! Laura is in love with love. And although she
frequently dates, Laura rarely relates. The few boyfriends she's
had in the past throw in the towel within a short period of time because dating
Laura is almost exclusively about... Laura.
When meeting a new man, Laura enjoys laughing and flirting...wining and
dining...dancing and romancing. But soon the fantasy fades and reality sets in
with an oblivious lack of commitment to moral character. Suddenly Laura—or more
often the man—loses interest. But Laura doesn't let her heart languish for
long....Almost immediately she is looking again for something she labels as
"love." What irony in this truth...
"The heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." (Ecclesiastes 7:4)
Everyone has felt infatuation to one degree or another. Everyone has
experienced "puppy love" at one time or another. Did you ever take
the long way around in order to walk by a certain someone or that someone's
desk...or locker...or house? Did you take special care to look especially
attractive on days when you thought your paths might cross? Did your heart skip
a beat when you looked up and unexpectedly caught a glance from him...or her?
Is that feeling actually love...or is it love's pseudopersona...infatuation'?
Sometimes it's difficult to discern—especially if the one you have these
feelings for doesn't seem to feel the same way.
- Infatuation
is a form of emotional obsession, an expression of excessive admiration or
foolish love void of sound judgment.
- —Infatuation
is a powerful feeling, but it is based more on the idea of someone
than it is on who the person actually is.
- —Infatuation
does not last because it's not based on reality.
- Love
seeks the highest good of another person, does what is in the best
interest of another person. People throughout the ages have asked,
"What is true love?" Our most authoritative source for
understanding the true nature of love comes from God as revealed in His
Word.
- —Love
is an action.
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). - —Love
is a decision.
"We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). - —Love
is work.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres" (1 Corinthians
13:4-7).
Love and relationships take effort. There is no fairy-tale formula for true
love. God's Word, along with time and maturity, will give you the ability to
discern fantasy from reality. Until then, waiting for sound reasoning will
guard your heart from being hurt. ...
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from
it." (Proverbs
4:23)
Infatuation
vs. Love
In differentiating between love and infatuation, consider these differences...
|
Infatuation |
Love |
|
• Sudden |
• Gradual |
|
• Highly emotional |
• Faithfully consistent |
|
• Idealistic |
• Realistic |
|
• Based on feelings |
• Based on commitment |
|
• Weakened by separation |
• Strengthened by separation |
|
• Seeking to find happiness |
• Seeking to give happiness |
|
• Focusing on external looks |
• Focusing on internal character |
|
• Seeking to get |
• Seeking to give |
|
• Possessive |
• Freeing |
|
• In love with "emotion" |
• In love with "devotion" |
God, the Source of love,
tells us through His written Word...
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for
us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.... let us
not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:16-18)
Live-In Boyfriend
Question: "My live-in boyfriend
says he loves me, but just isn't ready to marry. We're already living as though
we are married. What can I do to change his mind?"
Answer: If your
boyfriend can sexually "have his cake and eat it too," what is his
motivation for getting married? When you engage in the sexual acts of love
outside of marriage, you are minimizing the essence of love. According to God's
Word, neither of you is truly showing love to the other when you engage in
premarital sex. Begin now by either moving out or having him move out.
If your boyfriend really loves you, he will want you (not just sex) and will
be willing to wait until the wedding vows are said.
"It [Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking." (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Biblical Counseling Keys: Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating.
---------------------------more
tomorrow------------------------
Join our “Victory
over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via
the mt4christ247 podcast!
at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts,
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Encouragement for the Path of Christian
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