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Showing posts with label Discipleship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discipleship. Show all posts

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Freedom in Christ Lesson 4: The World’s View of the Truth

Lesson 4 Podcast:  Lesson 4 Podcast

Freedom in Christ Lesson 4: The World’s View of the Truth  

 

Focus Verse:

Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

 

Objective: To understand that Christians need to make a definite decision to turn away from believing what the world teaches and choose instead to believe what God says is true.

Focus Truth: The world we grew up in influenced us to look at life in a particular way and to see that way as “true”. However, if it doesn’t stack up with what God says is true, we need to reject it and bring our beliefs into line with what is really true.   

Welcome

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you choose?

Do you think that the way you look at the world and what you believe would be very different if you had been brought up in a different culture?

John 14:6 (NKJV)
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

 

Ephesians 1:17-23 (NKJV)
17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power 20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21  far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. 22 And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

 

1 Corinthians 1:30 (NKJV) 30 But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God--and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—

 

Philippians 2:5-11 (NKJV)
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

What is “The World”?

We’ve looked at some fundamental truths: who we are in Christ and the fact that faith is simply a choice to believe what God tells us is already true. In the next three sessions we’re going to turn our attention to the things that try to deflect us from the truth. We have three distinct enemies: the world, the flesh, and the devil.

First, in this session, we’ll look at the world and how it tries to make us look at reality in a way that is opposed to how God says it actually is.

The world is the system or culture we grew up in and live in. That will vary greatly according to where you are from and when you were born. I’m going to talk about it almost as if it were a person with its own thoughts and deeds. It isn’t. However, there is someone behind it, Satan, whom Jesus called (John 12:31) “the ruler of this world.” To a significant extent, he is the one who pulls the strings behind the world and works through it.

Let’s look at the three main tactics the world uses to try to divert us from the truth.

Tactic 1: Promising To Meet Our Deepest Needs

Its first tactic is promising to meet those deep needs we all have. We were created to have the kind of life Adam had: 100% acceptance, the highest significance, perfect security. But that wasn’t the life we were born into. From our first breath we didn’t have the spiritual connection to God that we were meant to have. Yet we were created with those in-built needs for acceptance, significance, and security that our connection with God would have fulfilled.

When we were growing up and instinctively started looking to fulfill those deep needs for acceptance, significance, and security, up popped the world and said,    “No problem! I’ll show you how to get those.”

It feeds us false formulas:

Performance + accomplishments = significance

Status + recognition = security

Appearance + admiration = acceptance

Those are lies. But in the absence of a spiritual connection to God, we naturally fell for them. Or as Paul put it, we naturally “followed the ways of this world” (Eph 2:2).

1 John 2:15–17 is a key passage in understanding how the world tries to suck us in:

1 John 2:15-17 (NKJV)
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

According to the passage, there are three channels through which the world works:

The Lust of The Flesh 

The more we buy into the world’s lies and act on them, the more unhelpful patterns of thinking become established in our minds, which then become default ways of behaving.

The Lust of The Eyes 

The world shows me things that it claims will meet my needs for acceptance, significance, and security that God created me to have.

The Pride of Life 

This is simply the temptation the world throws at us to boast about our life, based on the lie that it’s possessions or achievements or connections that make us significant.

 

Pause for Thought 1

Objective:

To help people understand their vulnerability to the world’s promises to meet our God-given needs for significance, security, and acceptance.

Questions:

In what ways has the world tried to make you feel insignificant, insecure, and unloved?

In what ways has the world promised you significance, security, and acceptance?

Do you recognize these “false formulas”?

Performance + accomplishments = significance

Status + recognition = security

Appearance + admiration = acceptance

How can you counteract “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1 John 2:15–17)?

______________________________________________________________________

Tactic 2: Painting A Complete But False Picture Of Reality

Essentially the second tactic of the world is to give you a distorted view of reality but feed it to you as the real thing.  How we see the world is called your “worldview.”

Just as we pick up things like language from our environment, we also pick up beliefs, values, and ways of behaving. We are influenced by our family, our schooling, our friends, the media.

So without even realizing it we all develop a way of looking at reality that we believe is true. But if your worldview is faulty, it will lead to faulty judgments about what happens in your life.

1.    A Non-Western Worldview

If you were brought up in Africa or Eastern cultures you may well have absorbed the belief that the universe is controlled by a kind of universal power that runs through everything and by spirits of many types.

If something bad happened to you,  you would probably begin to suspect that someone might be manipulating this universal power or the spirits against you by cursing you or doing some kind of magic. 

You would probably turn to a shaman or witch doctor to sort out the problems with this universal power.

If this is how you see reality, chances are that you will be living in constant fear that someone else might have a better control of the powers or that you might somehow unwittingly upset a spirit that would then turn against you.

2.    The Western Worldview

Most people brought up in the West don’t turn to a witch doctor if things start to go wrong. Instead we tend to look for logical reasons and try to fix the problem. 

The Western worldview tells us that what is real can only be known through scientific methods. If we’re ill we’ll turn to a doctor who will use scientific methods to try to make us better.

3.    The Postmodern Worldview 

The “Postmodern” worldview — has been emerging in the West in recent decades, which is something of a reaction against past generations’ reliance on scientists and experts.

The younger you are, the more likely you are to be suspicious of experts in general but particularly suspicious of those who make strong claims to certainty. In fact you may well have come to see anyone who has strong convictions as being on a dangerous line that ends with extreme, fanatical terrorists.

Whereas previous generations saw truth as something revealed by God or discovered by science, increasingly we test whether an idea is valid or not purely on the basis of our own personal experience. If it feels good to me, it’s OK. Each person is free to make up their own version of truth based on their own experience.

So politicians can say what people want to hear even if it flies in the face of facts and get a strong following. Groups on social media promote even the most outlandish views and members reinforce each other’s beliefs.

That is why Christians are under pressure to agree that all religions are equally true. Saying that we respect the right of other people to different beliefs and that we are happy to dialogue with them is no longer enough. There is a pressure to agree that their beliefs are just as “true” as our own.

Younger Christians are happy to say that Jesus is their truth but hesitate to go further and talk about Him as the truth.

This has led to what you might call “extreme tolerance” where practically any behavior is acceptable. People in previous generations used pornography, indulged in binge drinking, used drugs, or had multiple sexual partners, but would usually have acknowledged that those things were wrong. Increasingly, people don’t see these things as inherently wrong as long as they make them feel good. In fact the only thing that is seen as wrong is saying that what someone else is doing is wrong!

The bottom line is that people are increasingly absorbing into their worldview a belief that there is no real, solid, undergirding truth.

The Biblical Worldview: Truth Does Exist

So, what is true? That there is a spiritual power flowing through the universe that we can manipulate? Something that only science can uncover? Whatever feels good to you?

Which worldview is right?

None of them!

If we were to take that virtual reality headset off, get rid of the values and beliefs that our own particular culture instilled in us, what would the world actually look like? 

The Bible claims to be God’s revelation of reality to the people He created. If that is right, then taking off that headset would mean that what we would see would correspond exactly to what the Bible tells us. That what the Bible says is “how it really is.”

Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

What! Are we saying that only one view of reality can be right? Isn’t that a bit, well, intolerant? 

Consider the most important question facing everybody in the world: What happens when you die?

Hinduism teaches that when a soul dies it is reincarnated in another form.

Christianity teaches that souls spend eternity in either heaven or hell.

Spiritists think we float around as ghosts.

Atheists believe that we have no soul and that when we die our existence simply ends.

Can all those things be true at the same time? To put it another way, does what you believe will happen to you when you die make any difference to what will actually happen? Or will the same thing happen to everyone when they die regardless of what they believed before the event?

Surely, if Hindus are right, we will all be reincarnated. If Christians are right, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. If atheists are right, all of our existences will come to an end. If spiritists are right we’ll all float around as ghosts. But they simply can’t all be true at the same time.

So it’s clear that there is such a thing as real truth that exists whatever individuals may choose to believe.

We are not proposing a version of truth that we have made up ourselves. The Bible has been tested and found reliable by millions of people over thousands of years.

In fact many of those ordinary people have found that, by choosing to believe it, they have been able to accomplish, or be a catalyst for, extraordinary things.

We may find it difficult to advance an unfashionable argument. But are we really being helpful if we encourage people in their view that there is no truth when Jesus has said very clearly that He is the truth?
______________________________________________________________________

Pause for Thought 2

Objective: To reinforce the concept that we have all been heavily influenced by a non-biblical way of looking at reality.

Questions:

How different would your worldview be if you had grown up in another part of the world or at a different time?

 In what ways do you identify with one of the three worldviews discussed here?

When we talk to people about Jesus’ claim to be the only way to God, how can we not come across as arrogant?

______________________________________________________________________

Tactic 3: Not Replacing Core Beliefs

The third tactic of the world is to get us to add our Christian beliefs to our existing worldview rather than replace it, so that our core beliefs remain the same. 

For example, in an African country, the leadership of a missionary organization was ready to hand the church they planted over to African leadership. Two men were candidates for the position. Now what I’m about to say might sound silly to you, if you were not brought up with an African worldview, but one of them went to a witch doctor to get a charm to enhance his chances of being chosen as the church leader. Why did he do that? He was simply reverting back to his core beliefs, because they were deeper than his newer Christian beliefs.

How are those brought up in the West affected by the Western worldview which in effect denies the reality of the spiritual world? Some parts of the Church have tried to get rid of what they consider to be unnecessary supernatural “baggage.” They deny the miraculous and the existence of angels and demons.

Most of us recognize the reality of the spiritual world, at least intellectually. However, the Western worldview encourages us to live our lives and exercise our ministries as if the spiritual world didn’t exist.

When something goes horribly wrong in our lives, many Christians blame God. Why? Influenced by the Western worldview, they leave Satan out of the equation who, the Bible says, is a thief who “comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10).

What about when someone has a mental or psychological problem? The medical profession, influenced by the Western worldview, tends to ignore the reality of the spiritual world.

We say we believe the Bible, but isn’t it true that many of our decisions are made on the basis of what we think rather than on what God is saying? We say we believe in the power of prayer but do we spend time praying, or do our actions really demonstrate that we believe that we can sort out our lives on our own and use prayer only as a last resort?

Holding on to our core beliefs leads to a shaky foundation for our faith.

Os Guinness says: “The Christian faith is not true because it works; it works because it is true. . .  It is not simply “true for us”; it is true for any who seek in order to find, because truth is true even if nobody believes it and falsehood is false even if everybody believes it. That is why truth does not yield to opinion, fashion, numbers, office, or sincerity — it is simply true and that is the end of it.” Time For Truth, Os Guinness (Baker Books 2000), pp. 79–80 

Each of us needs to come to a point where we realize that what the world has caused us to believe is so contrary to what is really true that we make a conscious decision to throw it away. We need to make a conscious choice to believe what the Bible says, to make the Word of God our core belief system.

If we don’t, it will lead us to compromise and we’ll be “double-minded” and “unstable in all our ways” (James 1:8).

I’m going to say a prayer that you can pray with me if you want to make a firm decision to base the rest of your life on what God says is true.

Lord Jesus,

No matter what the world throws at me, I am making a decision today to believe only what You say is true in Your Word, the Bible. I choose not to be double-minded any longer but to trust You and make the Bible the core of what I believe. I renounce and turn away from my previous worldview and make a new commitment today to base my life on the truth in Your Word. I trust that You will be faithful to me. In Jesus’ name.

Amen.

Reflection

 

Objective: To give people an opportunity to reject aspects of their original worldview and embrace the truth in god’s word.

The concept of “renouncing” and “announcing” is fundamental to the freedom in Christ course and participants will become well used to it. To renounce something is to reject it or turn away from it.

Spend some time in prayer throwing out your old worldview and choosing to see the world as God says it actually is.

You might find it helpful to say “I renounce the lie that [my old false belief], and I announce the truth that [truth from God’s Word].” For example: “I renounce the lie that the unseen spiritual world is not real, and I announce the truth that it is just as real as the physical world we can see.”

“I renounce the lie that financial success brings real security, and I announce the truth that I am already perfectly secure because no one can snatch me out of God’s hand.”

“I renounce the lie that I should be worried that someone may have cursed me, and I announce the truth that I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms far above all other spiritual powers.” 

 

 

WITNESS:

 How will understanding that we all grow up with a particular way of looking at the world help you as you talk to people who are not yet Christians? 

 

IN THE COMING WEEK:

At the end of each day take five minutes to review how your old worldview has reared its head during the day to try to persuade you to compromise the truth of the Bible. When you identify it happening, take time to renounce the false belief from your previous worldview and make a commitment to base your life on the truth of the Bible.

 

Anderson, Neil T.; Goss, Steve. Freedom in Christ Leader's Guide: A 10-Week Life-Changing Discipleship Course, Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

 

 

Friday, September 24, 2021

You are My Density – Perfect Love Casts Out Fear - Purity 532


 

You are My Density – Perfect Love Casts Out Fear  - Purity 532

Purity 532 09/24/2021   Purity 532 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of an amazing display of beauty of God’s creation from an undisclosed location over an undisclosed body of water comes to us from a pastor friend of mine who captioned this magnificent shot as being a “sermon without words.”  

Last night in part of the teaching in the Freedom in Christ discipleship class that I taught I briefly discussed some of the evidence of God and proposed the notion that it took more faith to not believe in God than it took to believe in God.

With a photo like this one that points to the “first evidence for God, His creation, we can see the beauty and magnificence and design in our created universe and say: “Enough said. Where did all of this come from? Obviously There is a God. He created it all.”   A scene like this is supposed to take your breath away and draw you to connect with that mysterious unseen Creator who provides all the wonders of creation and everything we need to live.  God’s marvelous creation is a “sermon without words”.   

The video presentations in my class prevent me from teaching too much and what I do say has often been presented in other classes or other ministries as I can draw from my previous teaching to present some quick points regarding the reasons for believing in God, the truth of God’s word, and how to practice and grow our faith.  

This morning I realized that in all my presentations for the reasons to believe in God I have never stated that love was one the reasons to believe in God.   And quite honestly, I can’t recall any apologetics guys list love as evidence for God.  

Scripture states that God is love and that God shows His love for us because while we were, yet sinners Christ died for us.  So if you needed two points from scripture that love is a reason to believe in God, there you go!

Unfortunately, the reason why apologetic guys probably stay away from love as a reason for God is all the sinful things that are done in “love’s name”. Crimes of passion and people indulging in selfish desires and doing all manners of hurtful and destructive things because they “loved” someone so much can make us cautious to point to love as evidence for God.   The reason why love can get a bad name is because God is left out of it.  

 

God’s perfect design for human relationships of love and the foundation of families is the love of a man and a woman who love one another but who are both in love with God and who are both pursuing His will for their lives individually, as a couple, and as a family unit when children naturally come from their loving union. 

Unfortunately, my testimony speaks of the pain and brokenness that can result from being in a relationship where God is not at the center for both parties.  So in recovering for my divorce, I made a commitment to myself and God that I would only pursue a relationship with an authentic Christian woman that I could walk with, seeking to love and support one another while we both sought to live according to God’s will for our lives.   

In searching for a mate, you have preconceived ideas of what is acceptable and what isn’t. Some situations that surround people can influence you to decide not to “go there” with them.  

You end up saying things like: “I really like X and could see being with them if not for “this or that”. It’s just too bad. A relationship with them is just impossible.”

Now don’t get me wrong. It is a very good idea to be discerning and to have standards when you are choosing a life partner and we shouldn’t go into a relationship deciding that we will “fix them”.  

I can testify that without God generally people will not change.  And even with God, it takes the individual working cooperatively with the Lord to overcome habits and defects of character to change.  As noble an idea it is to help someone to change, that falls in the realm of a godly desire but is ultimately beyond our control.  

The thing we can do is to have a godly goal for our lives: to be the person that God wants us to be. Loving, compassionate, kind, patient, selfless, loyal, faithful, and diligent are qualities that we can develop and grow in ourselves with God’s help.  With God, we can overcome our personal issues and be flexible with the circumstances we face in life.  

So, if we find someone with those character traits, we have found a diamond in the rough. And even if they have circumstances that surround them that aren’t perfect we shouldn’t necessarily rule them out.  

Until very recently, that’s what I did. I was ruling people out arbitrarily because I couldn’t conceive of a way that our two lives could come together. I saw union as just impossible because of the details of my and the other person’s life.

As much as my heart told me this particular person that I was interested in was a faithful Christian woman, I told myself that I just couldn’t see how things could fit together and was saddened by how it just wouldn’t work.  

But as time has gone on and they have proven themselves to be who they appeared to be and we have drawn closer in our friendship, I finally realized that I had fallen into the trap that I often warn and teach people about.  The enemy will tell us that some things are just impossible. He will use our weaknesses and preferences to convince us that there just no way.   

But with God, all things are possible. And as my friend, Tammy Lyn and I have gotten to know each other and grown closer, we realized that our feelings had grown beyond friendship and somewhere along the line, my fears and anxieties have faded away as we have come to realize that both of us love one another enough to walk through whatever struggles we may face in bringing our lives together.    

I was reminded of the movie Back to the Future, where Marty McFly must bring his parents back together because of his accidentally messing us the space time continuum. Marty coaches his dad, George, to make a romantic gesture to win his mother’s heart and the hapless George suavely tells Lorraine: “You are my density….” Very smooth George. 

But as the story evolves, we know that George and Lorraine simply must come together otherwise Marty is done for.  Luckily a Sovereign God apparently is working behind the scenes in the film and even George McFly’s fumbling won’t prevent what God has designed to come together.  In a critical moment, George’s courage is challenged and despite his fear, his love for Lorraine gives Him the courage to make a stand and win her love.  

Much like George McFly, I have fumbled and stumbled my way through life, and even though I was overcome with fear and anxiety over how Tammy Lyn and I could be a couple, the perfect love of God has come in and drawn us together and cast out all fear.  We have confessed our love for one another and have committed ourselves to work together to make a life together come what may. 

We are just starting so we don’t know where this is going just yet, and people might think we have lost our minds, but I get a line from an old Hollies song that seems to describe my certainty of our future together:  

“All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same 

Not sure how or when but my mind, heart, soul, and spirit tell me this is the truth and I am rejoicing at the prospects of walking into that reality with my love, and my Lord.    

Perfect love comes from Him and casts out all fear. Love bears witness of His existence for God is love.   So keep walking and talking with God.  He gives you the love that saves you and sustains you. His love causes you to hope for more and to carry on. And if you follow where He leads, He just might give you some company on your path from here to eternity.

  

This morning’s meditation verse is:

1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NKJV)
11  that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you,

Today’s verse speaks of some simple wisdom that will make us personally responsible and lead to peace.  

It’s a jungle out there. Even before the Fall of Man into sin, God made us to be stewards of the earth. That means we are supposed to work.  So the Apostle Paul’s advice to the Thessalonians to “work with your own hands” is reminding them of that basic command that God gave us from the beginning. 

The reason why Paul had to remind the church in Thessalonica of this basic fact of life, to work, was because some false teachers were telling the church that it was “the end of days” and people had begun to walk away from their responsibilities because they thought existence itself was going to change at any moment with the return of the Lord. Others under the guise of pursuing the Lord were claiming to be on a spiritual quest which demanded others to support them, those of the “heavenly minded” crowd that were no earthly good and even worse wanted the church body to support them as a super saint.   

Paul’s life example as tent maker who supported himself proved that just because we serve God doesn’t mean we are entitled to a living and that the original command to be stewards to support ourselves and our families doesn’t go away with changing times or a life of ministry.

Paul also advises the Thessalonians to “mind you own business”.  Really? It’s in the Bible, so remember that “Mind your own business” First Thessalonians 4:11!

Now before you start getting snappy with that,  realize that is directed at you.   We are to mind our own business and aspire to lead a quiet life.  It is solid biblical advice that if followed  will mostly likely lead to peace.  

So work to support yourself and try to live a quiet life where you mind your own business.  This is simple biblical advice to show us that the basic aspects of our lives are addressed by God.  So practice what the word says and find the peace that comes from being in harmony with God’s will for our lives. 

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue to share from June Hunt’s Boundaries: How to Set Them, How to Keep Them.

 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

E. How to Practice the Do's of Parental Boundaries

What "do's" of parental boundaries may not have been practiced in the raising of Rosie Ruiz?

She goes on to break even more boundaries, only this time her offenses occur off the race course. In 1982 she is arrested on charges of forgery and larceny, and then 18 months later she turns herself in following an arrest warrant accusing her of conspiring to sell 4.4 pounds of cocaine to undercover agents. This time Rosie doesn't act alone—she has two female coconspirators also facing drug charges.

Infamy... makes the name Rosie Ruiz more memorable than rightful marathon champions.

The Bible, however, reveals the importance of a good reputation. . . .

"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."

(Proverbs 22:1)

While boundaries are good and necessary for instilling self-discipline and self-control, most children and teenagers do not necessarily look on them from a positive perspective. Rather, they view them as constraining their freedom and spoiling their fun. It is not until they experience some of the true benefits of boundaries that they begin to embrace them and eventually internalize them as their own rules or code for living.

In the meantime, it is important to take into account that most young people have a keen sense of fairness and are quick to demand justice when they perceive an unfair boundary has been set or an unjust repercussion has been imposed . . . especially against them. Parents and other authority figures who are known for their fair-mindedness and impartiality will quickly gain the respect of the youth in their charge and will likely find them loyal and receptive to reasonable boundaries. . . .

"If a king judges the poor with fairness, his throne will be established forever."

(Proverbs 29:14)

The Do's of Practicing Parental Boundaries

"My son, keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

(Proverbs 6:20)

Do... Mold the will without breaking the spirit of your child.

  • A child's will is molded by applying appropriate boundaries when the child seeks to go in a direction contrary to what the parents perceive to be God's will.
  • A child's spirit is uplifted by being valued as a unique creation of God and by being treated with courtesy, kindness, fairness, and respect.
  • A child's spirit can be broken through overreacting or having too many rules, criticizing or teasing, false accusations or inflexibility, impatience or harsh punishment.

Example:

A wild stallion has some intrinsic value; however, the most valuable horse turns with the slightest nudge from the rider's reins. The goal of the master is to break the will of the horse, but not the spirit. The goal of a parent should be to mold the will of the child without breaking the spirit. . . .

"Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

(Colossians 3:21)

Do . . . Communicate your expectations clearly.

  • Make eye contact with your child when communicating.
  • Prior to any problems, describe in detail what you expect of your child regarding structure and limits.
  • Enter into an agreement with your older child or teen and ask for a statement verifying an accurate understanding of your expectations.
  • When it is time for your child to honor the boundary you have established, give one gentle reminder.

Example:

Don't say:

"Don't you think it is time for you to do your homework now?"

Do say:

"Remember, you agreed to start doing your homework at 7:00. It's 7:20, so what do you need to be doing now?"

" . . . we instructed you how to live in order to please God...." (1 Thessalonians 4:1)

Do . . . Establish negative repercussions for misbehavior.

  • Clearly communicate the repercussion.
  • Prior to a problem, ensure your child understands and accepts that the repercussion will be enforced.
  • Allow your child to experience the repercussion for rejecting or violating a boundary.

Example:

Tom, age 13, rides his bicycle with his friends on weekends but has agreed to never ride after dark. If Tom disobeys, he will not go with his friends the next time they go riding together on the weekend.

If he breaks his agreement a second time, the repercussion will be doubled and he won't go riding with his friends for two weekends.

"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death."

(Proverbs 19:18)

Do... Encourage and develop responsibility.

  • Allow your child to make age-appropriate choices and decisions.
  • Permit your child to experience the repercussions of wrong choices and the rewards of right choices.
  • Give increased freedom when your child is responsible.
  • Restrict freedom when your child is irresponsible.

Example:

Seventeen-year-old Karl is told, "You may take the car to the ball game and to the pizza parlor afterward, but do not go anywhere else and be home by 11:30." If Karl disobeys, ask, "Where did you agree to go in the car and when did you agree to come home?" . . . "Why did we make this agreement?". . .

"Yes, the agreement was made for your safety and my peace of mind. So, per our agreement, you have chosen to not use the car for the next two weeks."

"A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him."

(Proverbs 17:25)

Do . . . Assign beneficial chores with boundaries.

  • Chores need to be assigned to everyone in the family.
  • Chores need to be explained as benefitting the entire family.
  • Chores need to be clearly defined and detailed.
  • Chores need to be compatible with your child's age and capabilities.
  • Chores need to be given an assigned time for completion.
  • Chores need to be consistently enforced by making sure they are completed.

Example:

Don't say:

"Michael, you are to mow the lawn once a week."

Do say:

"Michael, since your responsibility is to take care of the yard before you leave each Saturday, be sure to remember to use the edger around the curb and sidewalk. When you have finished, put the clippings in a yard bag and place it inside the trash can by the alley, then clean and put the equipment where it goes in the storage shed."

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

(Proverbs 14:23)

Do . . . Reward positive behavior.

  • Give your child praise regarding character traits.
  • "Your room looks great! I'm proud of your faithfulness to finish the job well."
  • Give your child "thank you's."
  • "I really appreciate your willingness to bring in the groceries. Thanks for your help!"
  • Give your child recognition in front of others.
  • "Jim, I wish you had heard the compliments about the way our lawn looked after Peter mowed it."
  • Give your child attention.
  • "Lisa, I heard you have learned to dive from the diving board. I would love to see you dive."
  • Give your child respect.
  • "Chris, I respect your need for privacy. I won't enter your room without knocking."
  • Give your child smiles and physical affection. Children need to be lovingly touched by their parents—with plenty of hugs, kisses, pats on the back, or a hand on the shoulder.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Do... Maintain consistency.

  • Both parents need to come to an agreement on issues regarding the child, even if they disagree in private.
  • Make only promises you know you can keep.
  • Give careful thought to a request before denying it.
  • Refrain from requiring too many major changes at one time.
  • Evaluate your boundaries and their accompanying rewards and repercussions on a regular basis. Change them as your child grows more responsible.

Example:

If you and your spouse disagree on a reward or repercussion, discuss the situation in private. Listen to each other as you share feelings and reasons for or against the correction. Come to an agreement or compromise so that there can be the security of consistency in your child's life.

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."

(Proverbs 24:3-4)

Biblical Counseling Keys: Boundaries: How to See Them - How to Keep Them.

 

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

 

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

Thursday, September 23, 2021

What a Cluster! – Follow the Path to Life and Healing - Purity 531


What a Cluster!  – Follow the Path to Life and Healing  - Purity 531

Purity 531 09/23/2021 Purity 531 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of a section of the corn maze path under a cloudless September sky comes to us from a friend’s recent visit to Samascott Orchards in Kinderhook NY.  Now that we are one full day into the Autumn season I would invite all my friends to boldly grab a pumpkin spiced or apple cider flavored treat this morning and make some plans to mark the season by going out somewhere this weekend or the weeks ahead to celebrate the harvest season.   

It’s Thursday, and I couldn’t resist sharing today’s photo of a pathway through the corn, because of the Autumn season, and because it is my habit to feature a road or a pathway for the Thursday photo to encourage my friends to keep traveling along, or to step on to, for the first time, the path of Christian Discipleship.  One way you can walk that walk, is by joining me for the Freedom in Christ Discipleship Class that I will be leading this evening at Rock Solid Church at 6:30 pm.

For my fellow travelers along the path that Christ laid before us who are not local, I will be uploading a podcast version of tonight’s teaching on the mt4Christ247 podcast and an outline of sorts for the lesson on the “restricted” blog mt4christ dot org.

One of the biggest complaints about the Christian faith is all those “hypocrites” in the church and I would be dishonest if I were to say I didn’t know what you are talking about.  But instead of pointing to the problem people who give the church a bad name because of their licentious lifestyles of sin or because of their hard hearts of self-righteousness,  I would encourage you to be the solution by deciding to be an authentic surrendered Christian who is continuously seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness by living out your faith every day.   

The separation of church and state, or the spiritual and the secular, should not be a theme in a Christian’s life because the correct view of our existence recognizes “Our Father who art in Heaven” who is sovereign over all His creation. 

To experience our new life in Christ, we must agree with the Word of God and apply it to our lives. 

Last night I talked to a brother and kindred spirit who knows the wonders of the Lord’s love and the power of our Christian faith.  While I don’t know all of his story, I know that Darren Duso started coming to my local church a few years ago and started his on walk on the path of Christian Discipleship (all it is our faith walk) by first attending services and then eventually feeding his curiosity, his heart, and mind by enrolling in Rock Solid Bible Institute where he recently received his Associates degree in Biblical Studies. 

But it wasn’t all just “fancy book learning” that has pulled Darren Duso along on the path of Christian Discipleship.  Sure there was the joy of our lively worship services and the fellowship of like minded Bible believing Christians to worship and walk with, but Darren has encountered the living God in a real and tangible way, that many on the path come to experience one way or another.  

Our church celebrates ever new year by calling for a time of fasting and prayer, encouraging our fellowship to choose to use the time to draw closer to God and to set their spiritual visions and intentions for the new year.   

Darren Duso decided to give it a try.  Darren suffered from what they call “cluster headaches”.  As a result of the pain, those with cluster headaches may experience suicidal thoughts during an attack (giving the alternative name "suicide headache" or "suicidal headache"). It is reported as one of the most painful conditions a person can experience.   The pain can be so bad that you consider killing yourself to escape it. 

So Darren decided to fast and pray for healing from his cluster headaches a couple of years ago. If I recall correctly it was about a week after he started fasting and praying that Darren testified to the church that his cluster headaches were gone.  Like I said, that was a couple of years ago, and if you ask Darren today , he will tell you that they are still gone.  

Nice story huh, well as those of us who are walking on the path of Christian Discipleship can tell you, the testimony never ends.  Like I said since then Darren has earned a degree from the Bible college, but he is not done seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness yet.  

Darren just announced that he is now hosting a podcast where he will be teaching his listeners how to study the Bible and how they can apply its truth to their lives. He and I know the power of God personally and both of us seek to encourage people to pursue a life of faith because of the transformative power it has and because of the purpose and joy it can bring to your life.  

So keep walking and talking with God.  Seek His kingdom and His righteousness by surrendering to Him and leaving the world and its ways behind. When you start walking in His direction, God will come running into your life to shower you with His love and to teach you the way you should go.  Let go of your pride, pain, and hypocrisy. Confess that you need Him and follow where the Lord tells you to go. 

 

This morning’s meditation verse is:

2 Timothy 2:23 (NKJV)
23  But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.

Today’s verse wisely tells us what Christians are to avoid.  

Well, well, well.  I could say a lot about this verse. The first thing that comes to mind are politically minded brothers and sisters in Christ that speak the names of politicians more than they speak the name of Jesus.  I understand that value of standing for what you believe in but often what I hear from those who are “fighting the power” or who are trying to “make America great again” falls into the category of “foolish and ignorant disputes” that “generate strife”.  

What do you mean by that MT! I’m standing for our Christian traditions and the US Constitution! Or “I’m standing against HATE!”     

I have no problems with making a stand.  What I have a problem with is one thing.  

1.     To be in the world’s forum of debate, the first thing that goes out the window is the word of God.  

There might be a few exceptions to this but if there are the people who stand on the word of God as part of their discussions don’t get a lot of air play because they would be labeled as religious extremists who don’t live in the real world.  

The Holy Spirit anointed Word of God is the only thing that will activate real change in people’s lives, so the enemy convinces well meaning Christians to “intelligently” debate their opposition by suggesting man made ways to institute reforms and changes. 

The “Christians” in these debates end up failing to use their forum to present the gospel and end up appearing “foolish and ignorant” to their opposition with their watered down Christian values based solutions that just aren’t pragmatic in the real world.  Ironically, by trying to be pragmatic, conservative Christian pundits fail to bring people to Christ and alienate the people they are trying to reach.  

Unfortunately, our Christian wisdom, the gospel, is foolishness to those who are perishing but it is the only thing that will save people. Christ told us to go out into the world and to preach the gospel and to make disciples (Mark 16:15; Matthew 28:19).  Fighting political battles does neither.  

Today’s verse also applies to us in the church.  As Christians we are to, as long as it depends on us, to make peace with all people.  So fighting over doctrinal differences that are not essential to the gospel must be avoided in order for the church to be effective in its purpose to be used by God to bring people into His kingdom and to maintain the unity and harmony in the body of Christ.  

We are to be the peace makers, not the troublemakers.  So if you find yourself as being an argumentative person, ask the Lord to give you wisdom so that your words will speak the truth in love and represent His kingdom and His plan for humanity. 

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue to share from June Hunt’s Boundaries: How to Set Them, How to Keep Them.

 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

 

D. How to Build Healthy Boundaries

Bill Rodgers models healthy boundaries and goes on to become a four-time winner of the Boston Marathon.

But for Rosie Ruiz, the 1980 Boston Marathon isn't her first "ruse on the run." In her very first race, the 1979 New York City Marathon, it is later discovered that Rosie starts the race, pulls a fast exit after about 10 miles, rides a subway, and jaunts her way to the finish line in Central Park. She finishes in 24th place with a time of two hours, 56 minutes, and 29 seconds.

What is the motivation for such unhealthy boundaries? Some say it is as simple as wanting to promote herself while intimidating and impressing coworkers.

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

(John 8:44)

Athletes work hard to develop strong muscles so that they can compete and win. Strong muscles require an exercise plan, a great coach or trainer, and regular, challenging exercise. No athlete can build strong muscles if someone else lifts the weights, works the practice sessions, and takes direction from the trainer.

You also must have a plan, a counselor or mentor, pastor or friend who will walk alongside you as you rely on God to help you gain control of your life. And you must continually face the challenges required to maintain healthy boundaries. . . .

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.>"

(Isaiah 40:31)

6 Sure Steps for Success

#1 Admit that you have a problem: Athletes can't improve their performance without first identifying the problems they're having.

Acknowledge that you're the one with the problem of lacking boundaries.

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24).

#2 Be aware that you may not want to do the hard work of change: Some athletes say they hate certain aspects of working out, but they do it anyway because they know that if they don't, they won't win.

Admit that you've often been your own worst enemy.

"Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place" (Psalm 51:6).

#3 Care about yourself: Athletes concentrate on their own challenges and leave the challenges of others to trainers and coaches.

Agree to let God change you. Determine to leave others in His care.

"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming" (1 Peter 1:13).

#4 Don't try to go the distance the first time: Marathon runners don't start out running 26 miles. They build up to it—1 mile a day, 2 miles a day, and so on.

Allow yourself to make small changes before you take on bigger challenges.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).

#5 Enforce the boundaries you set: If an athlete doesn't force himself to push through challenges, he won't succeed.

Accept the challenge to enforce boundaries.

#6 Continue to move forward: Athletes have to accept that one day they will not be able to perform at peak levels, even if they haven't achieved their dreams. Everyone has to let go and move forward with life or stay stuck.

At last, move forward, grieving your losses as you seek to fulfill your God-given purpose.

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).

Teach Healthy Boundaries

Question: "As a parent, how can I help my children develop healthy boundaries?"

Answer: Just as children must learn to respect authority, children must also be taught how to build and maintain healthy boundaries. Consider the following foundational elements necessary to develop healthy, appropriate boundaries with children.

Allow your children to say "No" and to hear "No" without fear of rejection or loss of love.

  • —If their "No" is justified, compliment them.
  • —If their "No" is unjustified, stay caring and calm and reason with them.
  • —If they rebel against your reasoning, realize that they are still hearing the truth spoken in love. In time, the seeds of truth can take root and bear fruit. Jesus said...

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Bonding time with your child as an infant is the most important, but bonding time at any age will only strengthen your relationship. It is from this foundation of bonding that your child develops the ability to develop healthy boundaries.

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them" (1 John 4:16).

Consequences are the logical and natural results of our actions. Your child needs to receive repercussions related to bad behavior. For example, if your child hurts someone, the repercussion would be to do something kind for that person. If your child says hateful words, a logical repercussion to retrain that behavior would be for you and your child to go to the person and ask for forgiveness, and then to sweetly speak complimentary, encouraging words to that person.

"You have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands: Go—to the point of exhaustion—and give your neighbor no rest! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler" (Proverbs 6:2-5).

• Discipline grounded in love is basic training for boundary development. Discipline is teaching boundaries, rewards, and repercussions, as well as being proactive in instruction and training in righteousness.

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:11 NASB).

• Encouragement equips, energizes, and empowers our children to feel loved. At the foundation of boundary setting is bonding, which is love. Unconditional love encourages our children to form healthy boundaries.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Set Healthy Boundaries

Question: "Why do parents need to set boundaries in the first place?"

Answer: Just as God set boundaries for Adam and Eve when He first created them, you need to set boundaries for your children. In truth...

  • Boundaries demonstrate your loving care. As a parent, you should not feel guilty when setting and maintaining boundaries. You are loving well when you hold the line on limits.
    "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them" (Proverbs 13:24).
  • Boundaries earn respect. Do not be afraid of losing your child's love by establishing boundaries. In following God's loving example, respect for your authority is a natural result of protective boundaries.
    "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9).
  • Boundaries are beneficial, not punitive. Don't look at boundaries as punishment. Good boundaries provide structure and security.
    "May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels" (Psalm 122:7).
  • Boundaries are honored out of respect and trust, not followed or coerced by force. Do not try to manipulate your child through fear or guilt. Instead, rely on established rewards and repercussions to motivate your child to act responsibly.
    "We acknowledge our wickedness, Lord, and the guilt of our ancestors; we have indeed sinned against you" (Jeremiah 14:20).
  • Boundaries are not detrimental, degrading, or demeaning. Upholding your boundaries is a discipline, and learning to develop and maintain boundaries is a positive skill for your child to learn.
    "Whoever scorns instruction will pay for it, but whoever respects a command is rewarded"
  • (Proverbs 13:13).
  • Boundaries protect your child much like a filter, keeping out harmful influences while allowing positive benefits.
    "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you" (Psalm 9:10).
  • Boundaries may eventually need to be altered or adapted according to your child's continued growth. As your child matures and your level of trust deepens, you may choose to expand boundaries accordingly. Remember to clearly convey changes of boundaries, rewards, and repercussions.

"For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life."

(Proverbs 6:23)

Biblical Counseling Keys: Boundaries: How to See Them - How to Keep Them.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

 

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship