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Showing posts with label Divorce. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Been There, Done That, & Doing it Again? – The Counsel of Many – Purity 524


Been There, Done That, & Doing it Again? – The Counsel of Many – Purity 524                                           

Purity 524 09/15/2021  Purity 524 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of a multicolored sunset in East Kentucky comes to us from a friend who has their eyes on the sky and who enjoys sharing the beauty of God’s creation with their friends. Sometimes the scenes inspire them to compose some original poetry to express the truths of what our eyes can see, and our hearts can feel in a simple but artistic way.  While the photos can delight us and the poems can impress us, there is something about pairing them that gives the two a greater meaning and profundity then either element could express in and of themselves.  

It’s Wednesday, and while this photo doesn’t have the normal “hump” of a hill or a mountain peak, the sunset is somewhat centered in a valley, and I think it meets the criteria for representing a midpoint for our week. Sometimes in life it’s not all “ups and downs”, sometimes it’s “downs and ups” as we ascend out of the pit of a difficult situation to a better place.  

Last night I met with a group of friends whose commonality is the “downs and ups” of going through the process of divorce.  We hadn’t seen one another in weeks so we spent the evening updating one another with what was happening in our lives and giving one another support.  Some of us are still in the midst of the process of coming to an end of divorce proceedings, some are “done” but not finished with processing the emotional and situational fallout of their marriage’s end, and the rest are more on the side of forging a new beginning but still face the challenges of going solo and/or finding a new love.   The whole process of the group coming together to hear one another and to offer insights, care, and advice reminded me of:

Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV) which says,
14  Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

 

I wish I say could that all of us, present company included, were moving forward in our lives by making wise choices and not being influenced by reactive emotions and patterns of the past but this is real life. 

As people shared their updates, more than one testified that they may be making mistakes that they have made before and that they could recognize them but somehow seemed to be repeating familiar missteps of the past because of their emotional vulnerability or lack of focus, commitment, or wisdom.  Some are hoping for situations to change that are beyond their control and are holding on to the hope that things will somehow resolve themselves.  Other are holding on to bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness over things that are lost, ranging from the profound to the material.

While we couldn’t resolve everyone’s problems or institute some quick fixes, we all felt positive about getting together because we were able to confess how we were really feeling and were able to receive counsel from people who had been through similar experiences and who could see our blind spots for what they were.  

I think the thing that makes are group special is not only the transparency and the mutual support but is the fact that we are Christians, and we use the counsel and wisdom that is drawn from the word of God to encourage one another.  

We have all found comfort and strength from God because of our faith and from knowing that we have a living relationship with the Lord and have resolved, in varying degrees, to follow His ways for our lives. 

When we let go of trying to control our situations or stop holding onto things and decide to give them to God, we discover that we can have a measure of peace even in the darkest hours of our suffering.  When we start to live our lives by His ways we are assured that we are doing the right things for the right reasons and can start to heal and see things improve,  

Sometimes we need a little help from our friends.  Sometimes God will use them to show us the way we should go. Sometimes the Lord can use them to give us comfort and to just hear us in our pain. Sometimes he will use them to show us that we are not alone.  

Our Christian friends know the Lord. They know His wisdom and they know His love. We can be the picture of suffering and they can be the poetry of God’s word. By ourselves, we each have a measure of beauty, but when we come together we can reflect the glory of God and the wonders of His love.    

We may have “been there and done that” and our experience can help others who are doing it too. So keep walking and talking with God. Speak the truth of His hope, wisdom, and love to your friends and to everyone you meet along the way for the pain of our past can be used to help to see someone  through their darkest hour or to prevent someone from making the mistakes we have overcome.  

 

Today’s meditation verse is drawn from” from the Dr. Charles Stanley’s In Touch Ministries provided resource:  “Freedom: Our Life in Christ” Memory Verse Cards set: 

This morning’s meditation verse is:

2 Corinthians 4:7 (NASB)
7  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;

Today’s verse tells speaks of the treasure of the gospel and the source of our victory.       

The context of this passage speaks of the power of the gospel, but it begins in chapter 3 of where it speaks of the fact that the Lord is Spirit and where the Spirit is, there is liberty.   The power of the gospel is the power to save.  The treasure of the gospel is the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.  

So whenever you read scripture, be sure to read more that just a verse or two. Look and see what comes before and after all those “there fore’s” and get an idea of all that is being said. The Bible is the rich wisdom of the Lord and may require more than a quick glance.   

In this passage if you didn’t look back you may think that the “treasure” in our “earthen vessel” is just the message that Jesus Christ came to die for our sins and to reconcile us to God.   We all know that is a supernatural truth that is invaluable to recognize and hold, like a treasure, but the context of the passage includes more than just preaching Jesus Christ crucified.

The surrounding passages speak about freedom from past sins and the fact that the reception of the good news is God dependent. He gave us this treasure and only He will pass it along to others through us.  Thus the “surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves”.  

God saves us. God gives us the power to endure and to overcome our former sins. And God will use us to speak as the verses that follow today’s verse (4:13) make clear. 

When we receive the Holy Spirit by placing our faith in Jesus Christ, He compels us to change and the more we align ourselves with God’s will for our lives the more we will experience the fruit of the Spirit. And when we feel the peace, joy, love, and goodness that comes from the Lord we will be compelled to share the treasure of the gospel with others.  

So hold on to your treasure but use it to be conformed to the image of Christ.  When you start drawing from the treasure you possess, you discover that it transforms you and somehow no matter how much of it you use, the treasure is never spent!  The power of God in us is infinite and when we can use it on ourselves liberally, but we can also speak the gospel and share our treasure with others.

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue to share from June Hunt’s Boundaries: How to Set Them, How to Keep Them.

 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

III. Causes

In the world of fencing, Boris develops a bad reputation.

It's 1976 and the Olympic games are underway in Montreal, Canada. The pentathletes for the Soviet Union are gripping their swords, or epees, in anticipation of another competitive event. Following the equestrian events they're in fourth place and have some catching up to do, but they remain confident because of their then star athlete—Boris Onishchenko—a multiple medal winner from previous Olympics.

He is 38 years old and is determined to earn at least one more medal, but Boris crosses boundaries that sideline him . . . for good.

Scripture imparts the truth about sin. . . .

" . . . you may be sure that your sin will find you out."

(Numbers 32:23)

A. What Experiences Help Us Learn Boundaries?

Fencing, swimming, running, shooting, riding horses . . . Boris Onishchenko has learned all about boundaries from his experiences as an accomplished pentathlete.

At the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City, he helps win a silver medal for his team and then four years later in Munich, he helps them land a gold, while he himself gains an individual silver. In 1971 Boris is dubbed world champion pentathlete before being overshadowed by a rival who secures the title the following three years.

Boris has played by the rules and respected boundaries, but a fencing tournament reveals foolishness.

The Bible wisely communicates...

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

(Proverbs 1:7)

Boundaries are an indispensable aspect of life, such an intrinsic part of living that they often exist unnoticed. Physical boundaries say: "My property is mine" or "My body is mine and your body is yours," while internal boundaries say: "I am me and you are you." "This is my responsibility, and there is yours." Since we learn boundaries through experience, their number increases over time as we pass through various developmental stages and encounter more and more learning situations. Since our lives are normally initially governed by our parents, they are the major molders and shapers of the boundaries we develop in childhood and then practice into adulthood . . . and throughout our entire lives. These boundaries can be strong and beneficial, or they can be poor, ineffective, and even harmful boundaries.

Regardless of boundaries learned from parents, we have a perfect Parent in our heavenly Father. He can "reframe" our past experiences and "retrain" us through our present and future experiences. As we surrender to our Lord and allow His Spirit to guide us, we can learn to construct positive boundaries. . . . We have only to yield to His rightful place of authority in our lives and give ourselves wholly to Him as those who have been born into His family and possess His Spirit. . . .

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."

(Psalm 25:5)

  • We learn boundaries from parents who model boundaries by the way they interact with us, with each other, and with those around them.
  • We learn boundaries as we learn more about God—His character, His attributes, and His expectations of us . . . and especially His ways of dealing with those who choose to sin.
  • We learn boundaries in the relationships we have with family, friends, and others in our life; however, the most significant relationship is the personal relationship we develop with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
  • We learn boundaries as we are corrected, taught, and disciplined in love by the authority figures around us.
  • We learn boundaries as we begin to understand the connection between receiving rewards for doing right and experiencing repercussions for doing wrong.
  • We learn boundaries from making mistakes, from trying and failing, and from suffering natural consequences.
  • We learn boundaries from listening and gaining wisdom from others, from observing the lives of others, and imitating what seems to work for them.

The apostle Paul said...

"Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do."

(Philippians 3:17)

Biblical Counseling Keys: Boundaries: How to See Them - How to Keep Them.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

 

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

Danger! That's not the Greatest Love of All! - Purity 446


Purity 446 06/16/2021 Purity 446 Podcast

Good morning.

Today’s photo of blue skies and an off-center peak in the background of the Grand Prismatic Hot Springs in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming comes to us from a friend who went west to visit what some have called one of God’s natural cathedrals.

I share it because it’s Wednesday and it meets the qualifications of having a peak to represent our transitioning over the midweek summit, but I also share it for the hot spring’s rich colors and alluring but deadly beauty.

My light research of the springs revealed that since 1890 at least 22 people have lost their lives due to venturing too close to those rich colors and hot waters, with the most recent death occurring in 2016. The victim of that accident, a 23-year-old man, apparently fell into the springs and was completely dissolved.       

The deaths and injuries suffered at Yellowstone’s hot springs warn us that just because something is beautiful and seems to offer to satisfy our needs for warmth doesn’t mean that we should abandon reason and jump into their depths.  

Last evening my divorce support group discussed the topic of new relationships for the recently single and many participants, including myself, shared their tales of when they were mesmerized by the potential of a new relationship to satisfy their needs for love and fulfillment.    

Some stories testified of the heat of passion or the warmth of companionship that drew people into new or recycled relationships only to have those fires eventually go out leaving one or both parties feeling burned or ice cold as their hopes at new romance or a new spouse went up in smoke.   In some cases, the hurt over the broken new relationship seemed to be more intense than the pains of their divorce.

Others testified of the very apparent signs of incompatibility or red flags of dysfunction that were present in these new candidates for romance only to have them ignored by hurting people who wanted to believe in the fairy tale that their love would cover a multitude of sins or miraculously overcome vast caverns of personal differences.   Ignoring the signs proved to be unwise in every case with some only suffering mild embarrassment and rejection and with others needing to involve law enforcement agencies to ensure their and their family’s personal safety after a tumultuous break up.     

Of all people, who shouldn’t believe the fairytale that marriage will some how complete us, the divorced should know better and learn from their mistakes. But we are human, we are hurt, and we want love. There is a saying that “hurt people hurt people” and I would say that with the fractured lives of the divorced the damage can be massive to oneself, perspective partners, and the children and families involved on both sides.    

So what do we do, just give up on love? 

I don’t think so. But what we can do is try to learn from our mistakes by working on the person that was directly involved in all the messes of our lives: us.  

Instead of trying to find someone to fix or complete us, we should seek wholeness from the only One who intimately knows us and has unlimited power to help us: God. 

That’s right, like Steve Winwood said, “Bring me a higher love”! 

God is the only one who will perfectly love us and when we follow His wisdom and ways we can see the truth that we were blinded from when we were “looking for love in all the wrong places”. 

We must allow God into our lives and allow Him to shine His light of truth on the darkness of the past so we can be strengthened and empowered to live the new life of wholeness that only He can give us. 

When we surrender to the Lord, our hurts can be healed.  He can take our broken hearts of stone and make them hearts of flesh.

He can guide us in His wisdom, so we don’t go running into the next hot springs relationship that catches our eye.

He can also make us see ourselves from his perspective and cause us to love ourselves.   

Whitney Houston sang that the greatest love of all was learning to love yourself. Unfortunately, the song didn’t tell you that the One we had to go to learn that lesson was the author of all truth and wisdom: God.  

So if you somehow are still walking alone in your journey of life, call on the Lord and ask Him to walk with you. He will heal your heart, sharpen your mind, and quicken your spirit to take you on a journey of discovery and love that will take you from here to eternity.       

This morning’s meditation verse is:

Deuteronomy 6:6 (NKJV)
6 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

Today’s verse shows us what is to be the depths of our relationship with God.  

The context of this verse involves the nation of Israel receiving God’s written instruction through Moses. Here God is instructing the nation of Israel to make His word a priority in their lives.  

We could look at this verse and interpret the phrase “Shall be in your heart” to mean that we will know the commands of God “by heart”, meaning to memorize the scriptures.  

There are “Bible-bee’s” where people compete in Bible memorization and recitation. These events are a stark example that we can know God’s commands “by heart”.  

Unfortunately, people can know God’s command “by heart” but not have them “in their hearts”. I wish I could say that I haven’t met people who could recite Bible verses but who did not live according to its wisdom.   People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk of faith do damage to the church and themselves through their hypocrisy.  

I feel that this verse means that it should be our heartfelt desire to live by God’s commands and that we would not only know them intellectually, but we would know them experientially. Having the Lord’s commands in our hearts indicates that we would continually meditate upon them and live by them.     

The word of God has the power to instruct us in righteousness and transform our lives but the depth of our understanding of God’s commands must go beyond mental assent. We must let the wisdom of His divine truth be in our hearts and shown through our lives.   

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

 

Today we continue with Dr. Neil Anderson’s Victory Over the Darkness, continuing Chapter 3. 

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase Dr. Anderson’s books for your own private study and to support His work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $15.00:

Get Right with God First

A few years ago a pastor asked me to counsel a couple from his church—the music director and his wife. I have never seen a family so blown apart in my life. They came into the room screaming at each other. Their relationship was characterized by infidelity and abuse. They were ready to leave my office in two different directions. I prayed silently to the Lord, If there's any way of saving this marriage, You're the only one who knows about it.

After listening to their bitter complaints against each other for several minutes, I interrupted them. "I think you need to forget about your marriage. There's no way we can save it—not now, not in this condition. But may I implore you individually to get right with God by restoring your personal relationship with Him?" I had their attention.

I turned to the wife. "Is there a way you can get away for a while all by yourself?"

She thought for a moment, then nodded. "My sister has a cabin in the hills. I think she'll let me use it."

"Good. Here are some tapes I want you to listen to. Go away for a few days and saturate yourself with these messages. Find out who you are in Christ and commit yourself to aligning your torn-up internal world with Him."

Surprisingly, she agreed. I asked the husband to make the same commitment and handed him an identical set of tapes. He also agreed. As they left my office I had little hope that I would ever see them together again.

Two years later I was sitting in a restaurant after church when that same music director walked in with his three children. Oh, no, I thought, they've split up for good. I kept out of his sight because I felt sorry for him and didn't want to face him. In a few minutes his wife walked into the restaurant and sat down in the same booth. They looked as happy and contented as any Christian family I have ever seen. I was really puzzled.

Suddenly the couple looked my way, recognized me and got out of their booth to come see me. "Hi, Neil, it's good to see you," they greeted me cheerfully.

"Yes, it's good to see you two." I really wanted to say, "It's good to see you two together," but thought better of it. "How are you doing?" I wouldn't have been surprised if they had told me they were divorced and they had met in the restaurant for the children's sake.

"We're doing great, Neil," the wife answered. "I did what you told me to do. I went up into the hills alone for two weeks, listened to your tapes and got my life right with God."

"I did the same," the husband added. "And we were able to work out the problems in our marriage." We rejoiced together about what God had done for them first as individuals and then as a family.

This couple discovered that getting right with each other began with getting right with God. Getting right with God always begins with settling once and for all the fact that God is your loving Father and you are His accepted child. That is the foundational truth from which you live.

You are a child of God, you are created in His image, you have been justified and positionally declared righteous by Him because of Christ's finished work and your faith in Him. As long as you believe that and walk accordingly, your daily experience of practical Christianity will result in growth. You will struggle, though, if you question the finished work of Christ, and try to become somebody you already are.

We don't serve God to gain His acceptance; we are accepted, so we serve God. We don't follow Him to be loved; we are loved, so we follow Him. It is not what we do that determines who we are; it is who we are that determines what we do. "Beloved, now we are children of God" (1 John 3:2, emphasis added). That is why you are called to live by faith (see Romans 1:16, 17).

To live the victorious Christian life you have to believe what is already true about you. Will you have opposition to believing this truth? Of course! The father of lies (see John 8:44) has deceived the whole world (see Rev. 12:9), and he accuses the brethren day and night (see Rev. 12:10). If that isn't enough, others will put you down. We have to keep reminding ourselves of these positional truths.


Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

God bless you all!

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

Monday, June 14, 2021

Beyond Covid 19, Addiction, and Divorce: Hope for a New Life : Purity 444


Beyond Covid 19, Addiction, and Divorce: Hope for a New Life 

Purity 444 06/14/2021 Purity 444 Podcast

Good morning.

Today’s photo of sunset over Saratoga Lake from the vantage point of Doc Brown’s at Browns Beach Marina in Saratoga Springs comes to us from yours truly as I spent this past Saturday evening enjoying the company of new friends and the festive atmosphere of a Skeeter Creek musical performance.   I haven’t been to an outdoor concert of any size in years and the experience was great on so many levels. 

First, in what I will declare as the dwindling days of Covid-19, it was awesome to be out in public with so many people to enjoy the wonderful weather and good times at an outdoor concert.  The lead singers of Skeeter Creek commented more than once about how good it was to be out performing and getting to see old friends that they had been separated from.  The mini concert was a celebration of life and the general lack of masks made us all remember what things were like before 2020 and gave us the hope that despite the persistent fear that still exists many of us are going to live our lives much like we did before the pandemic.   

Second, it was a personally great for me in terms of my new life and leaving the darkness of addiction behind.  Even though I was in a festive party atmosphere where alcohol was flowing, I honestly felt no temptation to drink and felt comfortable in my own skin.  I was relaxed and was able to dance and sing along with the band as I discovered that I don’t need booze to be uninhibited and enjoy the company of others.  I give all the glory to God, of course, because through the years He has helped me to mature to this level through faith in Christ and the renewing of my mind.  I’m so glad that I went out because this experience proves to me that the Lord really has taken “the hooks of addiction” out of me and I can live the rest of my life with confidence and don’t have to limit where I can go to enjoy life and to share the hope and love that Christ put in me.  

And finally, the experience was good for me relationally, meaning I could go out with no expectations or overwhelming desire to find romance.   To be honest, in the wake of my divorce, my devastated heart cried out for me to fill the void that my divorce from my ex created.  

To be totally transparent, I have already been disappointed a couple of times by what I considered to be adequate candidates for the position of “new wife” as I was politely but definitively rejected.

In hindsight, I am relieved that I didn’t have success because in both cases I had ignored incompatibility issues or had invested myself way too deeply emotionally before establishing an actual relationship.  I was willing to look past red flags to the exclusion of reason or to quote the wisdom of Air Supply’s 80’s hit, I was “making love out of nothing at all.”

So with those disappointments, and some close self-evaluation, I have come to a place where I am comfortable with myself and don’t have to find a romantic partner to be complete.  So while I could appreciate the beauty of the women that were around me at this event, I didn’t feel the need to chase after them as I would have in the single days of my past. I realized that in the past I had to put in much effort to get involved in my romantic entanglements and that because I wasn’t looking for “Ms. Right Now” I was safe from repeating mistakes of the past.

 I was also strangely relieved in the fact that I am not completely irresistible to women and didn’t have to worry because nobody was interested in me anyway.  That’s not false humility, that’s just reality and I’m okay with that.  Again, I would have to give God the glory for bringing me to this place of peace.  From this sense of peace and contentment, I will choose to follow His lead for the rest of my life and will see whether His plan includes a new spouse or not.    

So don’t be afraid to go out and have some fun this summer, but when you do make sure you get right with God and honestly examine where you are in life.  If we start a pursuit of happiness that we think will be fulfilled by experiences or relationships that don’t include God, we will eventually be disappointed as we either compromise who He has made us to be, or we make choices that lack the wisdom and discernment that He can give us when we walk with Him.  

This morning’s meditation verse is:

Matthew 28:20 (NKJV)
20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.

Today’s verse is the last verse in the book of Matthew, directly relates to my current ministry, and provides us with eternal comfort.      

In the previous verse, 19, Jesus directs us to go into all the nations to make disciples and to baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.   

While I have led corporate prayers of salvation/rededication in different settings over the years, no one has reported that my efforts lead them to a saving relationship with Christ.  Also, other than myself, and my kids, in the family swimming pool during the early days of my salvation, I haven’t baptized anyone.  

So while I can’t make the claim that I was integral in “making” disciples, I can say I have been active in teaching “believers” to observe all the things that Christ has commanded us to do over the last 6 years.  

While our previous ministry was deemed a recovery ministry, the reasons why we needed to deviate from calling ourselves a Celebrate Recovery ministry was because from the start our ministry at Rock Solid Church didn’t fit that simple categorization because we included aspects of Christian discipleship that went beyond AA’s 12 Steps or Celebrate Recovery’s 8 principles.   

My participation in the Celebrate Freedom Recovery Ministry, and the transition to the Community Freedom Discipleship Classes at Rock Solid Church has all been motivated by my desire to teach believers in Christ to become disciples of Christ and to experience their freedom in Christ in the process.  

And as Christ’s words in theses verses at the end of Matthew indicate, He calls us all to teach others what He has commanded us to do.   That goes for every Christian.  In Christ we all have infinite value to those around us because what we know has the potential to pull someone from utter destruction or to lead a Christian into a deeper relationship with God.   

So make sure that you speak up when people need to hear the truth or the words of encouragement that the Lord has given you.   His last words in this verse assure us of His presence in our lives even to the end of the age, so we are to take comfort in that promise and do our best to bring others to know it too.

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

Today we continue with Dr. Neil Anderson’s Victory Over the Darkness, beginning Chapter 3.

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase Dr. Anderson’s books for your own private study and to support His work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $15.00:

Chapter 3

See Yourself for Who You Really Are

Claire attended a church college ministry I was involved in several years ago. On a physical, material level, Claire had absolutely nothing going for her. She had a dumpy figure and a poor complexion. Her father was a drunken bum who had deserted his family. Her mother worked two menial jobs just to make ends meet. Her older brother, a drug addict, was always in and out of the house.

When I first met Claire, I was sure she was the ultimate wallflower. I didn't think there was any way she could compete for acceptance in a college-aged society that is attracted to physical beauty and material success. To my pleasant surprise, though, everybody in the group liked Claire and loved to be around her. She had lots of friends, and eventually she married the nicest guy in the college department.

What was her secret? Claire simply accepted herself for who God said she was in Christ, and she confidently committed herself to God's great goal for her life: to love people and grow in Christ. She wasn't a threat to anyone. Instead, she was so positive and caring toward others that everyone loved her.

Derek, a man in his early 30s, was enrolled in our missions program at Talbot School of Theology several years ago. I barely knew Derek until he attended a conference where I spoke about the critical importance of understanding our spiritual identity in Christ. The next week he came to see me and tell me his story.

Derek grew up with a father who demanded perfection in everything his son did. Derek was an intelligent, talented young man, but no matter how hard he tried or how well he succeeded, he seemed unable to please his father. The man continually pushed his son for better performance.

Striving to fulfill his father's expectations, Derek earned an appointment to the United States Naval Academy and qualified for flight school. He achieved what most young men only dream about: becoming a member of the elite corps of Navy fliers.

"After I completed my obligation to the Navy," Derek told me, "I decided that I wanted to please God with my life. But I saw God as a perfectionistic heavenly shadow of my earthly father, and I figured the only way I could fulfill His expectations for me was to become a missionary. I'll be honest with you. I enrolled in the missions program for the same reason I went to Annapolis: to please a demanding Father.

"Then I attended your conference last Saturday. I had never heard that I am unconditionally loved and accepted by my heavenly Father and I never understood who I already am in Christ. I've always worked so hard to please Him by what I do, just as I struggled to please my natural father. I didn't realize that I already please Him by who I am in Christ. Now I know that I don't have to be a missionary to please God, so I'm changing my major to practical theology."

Derek studied for a practical theology degree for about a year. Then he had the opportunity to serve on a short-term missions team in Spain. When Derek returned from his trip he burst into my office and excitedly told me about his ministry experience in Spain. "I'm changing my major again," he concluded.

"To missions, right?" I responded with a smile.

"Right," Derek beamed. "But I'm not going into missions because I need God's approval. I know God already loves and accepts me as His child. Now I'm planning to be a missionary because I love Him and want to serve Him."

I told Derek, "That is the fundamental difference between being driven and being called."


Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

God bless you all!

 

Join our “Victory over the Darkness” or “The Bondage Breaker” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, and Audible.com. 

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

 

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship


Monday, December 31, 2018

2019: Happy New Year!


Happy New Year!

2018 was a year of seismic changes in my life. The beginning of the end of my 20-year marriage has taken center stage but I would say that I have grown exponentially because of it and there were many good things that happened this year despite the turmoil. 

My daughter Haley graduated high school! Haley has overcome some trials of her own this year as she was diagnosed with diabetes and suffered the relocation of her long-term boyfriend to another state.  She is becoming the independent woman I raised her to be. She is learning to drive, going to college, and celebrating the new year in Atlanta!

My son, Brennan, has continued to flourish despite everything too.  He has continued to excel in chorus and drama in school and has really shined in both realms performing solos and being selected for all county, and all state in chorus and becoming one of the leading actors in drama in last spring’s musical, and this fall’s Shakespeare festival. This spring he secured the role of Rock Star: Conrad Birdy in THS’s upcoming “Bye-Bye Birdy!”

Through it all my kids have supported me completely. We have stuck together, committed to find a way to maintain our home as we look to the uncertain future of preparing for a new one.  

This morning as I was preparing for the future by packing boxes for the eventual move?  I discovered some notes from the Men’s Bible study group I go to on Sunday mornings.  The notes in question must have been from the heat of my filing for divorce because they revealed the sharp pains I was going through at the time.  

The notes were based on a teaching from one of the guys in our group, He presented the “3 needs of life”.    The three needs of life were:
1.    Love
2.    Significance
3.    Security

So, I had written those points out with the following personal reflections.

1.    Love – No Love.  My wife loves _______.
2.    Significance - Job re-assignment and transfer feels like a demotion.  My wife’s complete disrespect and betrayal.  Divorce will cost almost everything.
3.    Security – I have no idea where me and my kids will live and what we will live on.
   At the bottom of these delightful insights, I had scrawled: GOD help me! 

It may have been bright in August but those were some dark days. 

But you know what?  God did help me!

Back in the spring of this year, before this craziness, I signed up to take classes to get my master’s degree in Christian Counseling.  So, around the same time as I wrote this note, I got on with my studies. The class?   “How to Deal with Emotional Crisis”.  No kidding. 

One of the texts for this class was “How to Handle Your Emotions” by June Hunt.  The book leads Christians through the process of how people of the Christian faith are to determine their Self-worth and to deal with emotions like depression, grief, anger, fear, and rejection.   It was an invaluable resource in getting me to properly deal with everything I am going through.  The Lord has used it to bless me and I have taken it and taught lessons from it at Celebrate Freedom, our local Christian Recovery group.


It showed me that I had LOVE, SIGNIFICANCE, and SECURITY in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. My worth is not based on my marriage, my job, or my performance.  I am priceless. God loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me.  He has given me His Holy Spirit to live in and through me. I am never alone because He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I will never die. If this body gives out, I will find myself in the kingdom of heaven surrounded by loved ones and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who cheering me on as I walk in faith.

My divorce isn’t over.  I still have to list and sell my house. I don’t know when it will be over or where I will live afterwards but I know that come what may I will overcome because of the blood of Jesus Christ that has washed me clean and given me life never ending.  

Thank You JESUS! Thank You GOD! Thank You HOLY SPIRIT!  

If you have had a bad year, say a simple prayer to make Jesus your Lord and Savior.  Put your faith in Him and you can walk through anything!

God bless you and yours!

Happy New Year!