In my pursuit of loving my wife like Jesus loved the church, I started reading Dave Earley's 14 Secrets to a Better Marriage and thought I would share show of his words of wisdom.
"Because God assigned husbands a leadership role in marriage, He designed wives to subconsciously react to the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of their husbands’ leadership. A wife tends to react to the signals her husband sends and the circumstances he creates. As I began to understand this, I realizedEncouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship
that if I was not happy with my wife’s responses, I should look in the mirror for the cause. Often she was simply reacting to my actions, or lack thereof."
Early then shares lists of wife's and husband's reactions, putting them side by side to demonstrate how they influence each other. I have taken the contents of those lists and present them here as "If and Then statements". They are intended to give guys an idea of why your wife acts the way they do.
If your wife Nags about things that need attention, then you are Unreliable—slow to act.
If your wife is Impulsive in her spending, then you are Untrusting or domineering.
If your wife is Permissive with kids, then you are Angry or over-demanding with kids.
If your wife is Overly Emotional, then you are Insensitive.
If your wife is Domineering in the home, then you are Inattentive.
If your wife is Critical, then you are Irresponsible.
If your wife is Insecure, then you are Highly critical.
If your wife is Fearful, then you are Impulsive or careless.
If your wife is Cool and distant, then you are Harsh or hurtful.
Bad news guys; it's our fault after all.
The Good news is that if we take responsibility for the status of our marriages and lead like we are supposed to we can change what we do to get the responses we want.
I am walking this out right now and no I wasn't thrilled with the news either but I am "MAN" enough to accept the challenge to lead my marriage. I might have to act sooner, listen, and do things differently but if removes those unwanted reactions from my wife, it will be worth it.
After all, happy wife; happy life right?