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Showing posts with label My Father God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Father God. Show all posts

Friday, March 4, 2022

Seeing the Love and Wisdom of God in Our Experience – Purity 670


 Seeing the Love and Wisdom of God in Our Experience – Purity 670

Purity 670 03/04/2022  Purity 670 Podcast

Good morning,

Today’s photo of a simply magical sunset at Hallet Cove Beach in South Adelaide, Australia comes to us from Dave Baun Photography as Dave shared this wonder a day ago with the insight that “There isn’t much that compares to that feeling when you just stop and take in a good sunset, Even better when it’s an awesome sunset! This one was epic and very close to home too – beat that!”  

Dave is a transplanted American who was led to find the love of his life on the other side of the world in Australia. His work in photography and his personal story is an endearing and enduring testimony of the goodness of God.   His wife Liisa Grace shared their story with me last year and if you want to read it for yourself and to see the video of Dave’s proposal and their wedding I am sharing the link to the post from last year that tells it all on today’s blog entry (https://www.mt4christ.org/2021/04/this-is-testimony-of-my-australian.html). 

I’m sharing it all today because it is Friday and I am extremely thankful for all that God has done in my life and because I am in the midst of living out my own providential love story as I truly believe that God brought TammyLyn and I together and we are being reunited again this evening.  

Romantic stories and epic sunsets aside, no matter what your current relationship status is I want to remind you of the greatest love of all, the love that God has for us that was demonstrated by Christ coming to earth and paying for our sins so we could be reconciled to and have peace with God. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the love story that just keep on going as those who believe and choose to follow the Lord discover that God is with them wherever they go and that He invites them to experience the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.  

Last night, I heard more testimony about the love of God as the participants of the Freedom in Christ course I facilitate spoke about how the Lord was moving in their lives as they have made the decision to learn more about their relationship with God and to apply the lessons they are learning to their experience. 

One man, who had taken the course independently a year ago, marveled over how he stepped out in faith and led a men’s Bible study at his local church this week and how the man he was before going through the course wouldn’t have even been at a Bible study, let alone leading one.

The regular leader of the group was out of town this week and my friend boldly filled in their stead and used one of the resources from the Freedom in Christ course in his teaching to encourage the other men to have a true Biblical view of who God is.  

Often Christians can have a distorted view of their heavenly Father because of how their earthly fathers treated them. The “My Father God” list from the Freedom in Christ Course is a series of renunciations of the lies that are believed about God and the accompanying proclamations of who God really is based on the truth of God’s word. For example, the first couplet says:


I renounce the lie that you, Father God, are distant and uninterested in me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are always personally present with me, have plans to give me a hope and a future, and have prepared works in advance specifically for me to do.

One of the men in the Bible study had apparently had a negative view of God, stating that he felt that sometimes “God had given him a snake, when he had asked for a fish”.  

So with this man in mind, my friend handed out copies of the “My Father God” list to all the men at the Bible study and had each man read one of the couplets out loud until the list was completed.

My friend reported that He could see the Holy Spirit at work in the process, as many of the men seemed visibly affected as they felt the power of the truth of who their heavenly Father is being proclaimed.  Our friend reported feeling great joy at the results and stands in awe of what the Lord has done in his life and what He did at the Bible study this week.   

If anyone would like that “My Father God” list, I am sharing a link to a blog post I shared that contains it (https://www.mt4christ.org/2021/10/freedom-in-christ-lesson-7-handling.html).  We invite you to review it or to share it to help yourself or others draw closer to your heavenly Father.

 Another man in the Freedom in Christ course, shared how this week’s lesson on forgiveness hit close to home and how he too got to apply what he had learned in the course to his experience.  

This man shared how he and a family member had been separated in their relationship because of their personal differences of opinion regarding the Covid-19 vaccine. One party was vaccinated, and the other wasn’t. The vaccinated party refused to let the unvaccinated party visit them or their family.

This disagreement kept them divided and as time progressed the relationship was becoming defined by bitterness as neither wanted to budge. The division even permeated to other family members who weighed in with their opinions about how the two parties had been divided!  

But by the grace of God, my friend, who still believes in his stance on vaccinations, was motivated by the lesson on forgiveness to seek it and to reconcile their relationship. Both parties agreed to meet and they both offered their apologies and proclaimed their desires to re-establish the relationship that this rift has caused.  Both parties still hold their respective opinions, but they have made the decision to forgive and to move forward cautiously to mend the many broken fences and hurt feelings that this episode has caused. 

I could see that my friend is still dealing with the fall out from what has happened and encouraged him to keep going to where God would lead Him in love and I offered my prayers for a complete resolution to the problems that still exist in the various relationships that were affected by this problem.   

As I teach and encourage people in pursuing their freedom in Christ, I remind them often that our walk of faith is not about perfection its about progress. Perfect resolutions and instant fixes can happen but often the peace that the Lord has for us is experienced more often after a process of growth and maturity.  

But I know the benefits that come from exchanging our worldly ways of pride for the humble ways of a Christian disciple that are instructed by the word of God. And I know that when we take a step towards God, He takes two steps toward us with open arms and if we keep walking and taking with God, we will discover that wonders of His loving embrace as we realize that we are finally with Him and that He has always been with us.

So as we walk into this last day of the work week thank God it is Friday and draw closer to the things He has for you by making the decision to walk with Him, every day.  


This morning’s meditation verses are :

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT2)
22  But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23  gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Today’s Bible verses define the fruit of the Spirit that can grow and flourish in our lives when we decide to walk in the Spirit.  

As my testimony of the two men in the Freedom in Christ course shows us, when we decide to apply the wisdom of God’s word to our lives it can have dramatic results.   

Our first friend got to experience goodness and joy as He was faithful to share the truth about our Father God at his men’s Bible Study.  

Our second friend got to experience a measure of peace, and probably an increase in patience, as he gently reached out to reestablish a relationship that was divided by the bitterness of unforgiveness.

“Walking in the Spirit” is the process of living according to God’s ways.  It is a process where we challenge the way we think and behave as the world has taught us “that it’s a jungle out there” and that there are “ways that seem right to a man” but the word of God reveals that the ways of the world are in opposition to Lord and lead to death.   

Rome wasn’t built in a day and the process of adapting our minds and behaviors to follow the wisdom in the book of Romans, and the other 65 books of the Bible, takes some time.  In order to truly walk in the Spirit, we have to open our hearts to develop our emotions and our love for God as well as renew our minds and change our behaviors.

But when we make the counterintuitive choice to actually believe and practice what the word of God teaches us, we discover that these fruit of the Spirit will grow in our lives.  

I recently came across a teaching that clarified that the “fruit” that we are to produce in our lives isn’t just the good works that we will perform. As Christians we are supposed to be confirmed to the image of Christ and that indicates that our character is to be transformed.   The fruit we need to produce is a character that reflects the fruit of the Spirit. The process is know as sanctification and when we are in Christ, we are in that process.  

So keep walking in the Spirit. Challenge and reject the ways of the world and instead choose to follow the Lord and see how love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, and self-control will naturally grow in your life.


As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Codependency: Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship.

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s  books for your own private study and to support his work.  This resource is available on many websites for less than $5.00.

E. Recovery Step #3: Get on the Road to Interdependent Relationships

We all love to see pictures of babies and then to see their stairstep growth into young adulthood. Built within little, immature children is the ability to grow to maturity. Why should it be any less for immature adults? They too can move from their immaturity and develop mature relationships.

Once we understand the goal of each developmental stage for reestablishing healthy relationships, we can set out to accomplish those goals—without the aid of earthly parents. Many have done this by "taking the hand" of the heavenly Father and allowing Him to "re-parent" them. You too can do this by having a plan and then working your plan with the caring support of others. It is an enormously important journey with enormously gratifying rewards. This is the journey God intended for you to take from the beginning.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

  • Make it your goal to develop an intimate relationship with God and to form interdependent relationships with significant people in your life.
    • —Commit to becoming actively involved in a group Bible study and in group prayer.
    • —Commit to reading God's Word on a daily basis and memorizing Scripture.
    • —Commit to finding an accountability group and a Christian "relationship mentor" who will be available to you, spend time with you on a regular basis, be honest with you, and coach you in your relationships.

"Let us not give up meeting together... but let us encourage one another." (Hebrews 10:25)

  • Make a plan to move toward maturity in your relationships.
    • —Ask God to help you discern where you are stuck in the relationship developmental stages.
    • —Ask your mentor or another wise person to help you identity your relationship needs (for example, sharing, problem-solving, listening, negotiating).
    • —Ask your accountability group to hold you accountable to establish appropriate goals in order to meet each of your relationship needs.

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4)

  • Make your relationship with your parents complete.
    • —Choose to resolve any unhealthy patterns with your parents. Break any unhealthy bond and, if possible, establish mature, adult bonds with each parent.
    • —Choose to not be emotionally enmeshed, needy, or controlled by your parents. If necessary, separate yourself emotionally until you can respond in a healthy way with "no strings attached."
    • —Choose to identify and process your "family of origin" problems, forgive your offenders, and grieve your losses. Say, "That was then; this is now."

"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." (Romans 12:19)

  • Make a vow to be a person of integrity in thought, word, and deed.
    • —Learn to free yourself of any family secrets—refuse to carry them any longer.
    • —Learn to listen, to say no, to set boundaries, to give and receive, and to ask for what you need from people.... Then practice, practice, practice these new, healthy patterns.
    • —Learn to feel your feelings, to express hurt, and to withdraw and think about what you need to do or say. Write out your action plan; rehearse it; then do it.

"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do." (1 Peter 1:13-15)

  • Make a new job description.
    • —My job is to discern the character of a person and to respond accordingly with maturity.
    • —My job is to be a safe person for my friends and family and to be present and attentive in my relationships.
    • —My job is to take care of myself and to be responsible for myself without hurting, punishing, attacking, getting even, or lying to myself or to others.

"I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live." (Job 27:6)

  • Make a new commitment to yourself.
    • —I will let go of the "old," self-centered me because I am growing into a "new," Christ-centered me.
    • —I will exchange the lies I've believed about myself for God's truth about me according to His Word.
    • —I will no longer betray myself by making immature choices, and I will redeem my past, bad choices by making good, mature choices.

"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)

  • Make maturity, not emotional relationships, your highest goal.
    • —Focus on forming friendships in which you are free to learn, grow, and mature, not emotional attachments that lead to roller-coaster relationships.
    • —Focus on any potential relationships that might trigger your codependent tendencies and guard your heart from the emotional highs and lows.
    • —Focus on building relationships with trustworthy, mature Christians whose goal is Christlikeness.
    • —During a severe time of trial, David's dear friend, Jonathan...

"... helped him find strength in God" (1 Samuel 23:16)


Biblical Counseling Keys: Codependency: Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

Join our “Victory over the Darkness”, “The Bondage Breaker”, "Freedom in Christ" series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!

at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts

(https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mt4christ247s-podcast/id1551615154). The mt4christ247 podcast is also available on Google Podcasts, Amazon Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartradio, and Audible.com. 

These teachings are also available on the MT4Christ247 You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTxjSNstREpuGWuL0bF3U7w/featured

Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.

My wife, TammyLyn, also offers Christian encouragement via her Facebook Group: Ask, Seek, Knock (https://www.facebook.com/groups/529047851449098 ) and her podcast Ask, Seek, and Knock on Podbean (https://feed.podbean.com/tammalyn78/feed.xml)

Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

Friday, October 22, 2021

Knowing Him in Truth - Thank the Father It’s Friday - - Purity 556

Knowing Him in Truth  - Thank the Father It’s Friday -  - Purity 556

Purity 5565 10/22/2021   Purity 556 Podcast

Good morning

Today’s photo of Mum’s back yard comes to us from who a friend who recently visited their mother’s home and some surrounding areas to enjoy the blessings of the season and the company of the woman who brought them into this world and raised them to have a compassionate heart that extends beyond their human friends to exotic members of the animal kingdom as their profession as a zookeeper requires love and patience to calm animals that naturally are wild at heart.  

I just love the explosion of Autumn colors that my friend captured here, and it makes me want to say: “Orange you glad its Friday!”  Okay I guess I couldn’t resist that “Dad” Joke, but it is my desire to wish all of my friends a Happy Friday and to encourage them to thank their heavenly Father for the last day of the work week and for all that He is and for all that He has done. 

Last night, in the Freedom in Christ class we shared the “My Father God” resource that teaches us to renounce the lies that we may have believed about God and to choose to believe the truth about who God really is, that is revealed in the word of God, and in our experience as we choose to seek Him and His ways and get to know Him more.  

I share that resource here today and encourage you to read through it and to really renounce the lies you may have believed about God and to embrace these truths about your Heavenly Father:  

My Father God

 

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are distant and uninterested in me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are always personally present with me, have plans to give me a hope and a future, and have prepared works in advance specifically for me to do. (Psalm 139:1-18; Matthew 28:20, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are insensitive and don't know me or care for me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are kind and compassionate and know every single thing about me. (Psalm 103:8-14;  1 John 3:1-3; Hebrews 4:12-13).

I renounced the lie that You, Father God, are stern and have placed unrealistic expectations on me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, have accepted me and are joyfully supportive of me. (Romans 5:8-11; 15:17).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are passive and cold toward me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are warm and affectionate toward me. (Isaiah 40:11; Hosea 11:3-4).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are absent or too busy for me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are always present and eager to be with me and enable me to be all that You created me to be. (Phil 1:6; Hebrews 13:5).

I renounced the lie that you, Father God, are impatient or angry with me or have rejected me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are patient and slow to anger, and that when You discipline me, it is a proof of Your love, and not rejection. (Ex 34:6; Romans 2:4; Hebrews 12:5-11).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, have been mean, cruel, or abusive to me.

I choose to believe the truth that Satan is mean, cruel, and abusive, but You, Father God, are loving, gentle, and protective. (Ps 18:2; Matt 11:28-30; Eph 6:10-18).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are denying me the pleasures of life.

I choose to believe the truth that you, Father God, are the author of life and will lead me into love, joy, and peace when I choose to be filled with Your Spirit. (Lam 3:22- 23;    Gal 5:22-24).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are trying to control and manipulate me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, set me free and gave me the freedom to make choices and grow in Your grace. (Gal 5:1; Heb 4:15-16).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, have condemned me and no longer forgive me.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, have forgiven all my sins and will never use them against me in the future. (Jeremiah 31: 31- 34; Romans 8:1).

I renounce the lie that You, Father God, reject me when I fail to live a perfect or sinless life.

I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are patient toward me and cleanse me when I fail. (Proverbs 24:16; 1 John 1:7- 2:2).

 I AM THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE! (Deuteronomy 32:9-10).  

If you realize that you have had a faulty understanding of God, reading this list out loud every day for six weeks or so can dramatically help heal your emotional pain.

I hope that reading this list has drawn you closer to God and I hope that you have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.   Keep walking and talking with God because He loves you, wants what’s best for you, and will show you the way you should go if you choose to seek His wisdom and follow His ways.

(There is more content to help you walk out your journey of faith at MT4Christ dot org. You can also subscribe to the mt4christ247 podcast to hear this message, our discipleship classes, and our weekly Bible Study, on Apple, Google, Spotify, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as Audible and Podbean).

#Christian #christianity #encouragement #freedominchrist #christiancounseling #jesuschrist #mt4christ #discipleship #victoryoverthedarkness #Dating #mt4christ247podcast 

Today’s Bible verse is drawn from “The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men”.  

This morning’s meditation verse is:

Proverbs 19:11 (NLT2)
11  Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Today’s verse teaches us a core concept that increases our ability to control our anger.

Proverb 19:11 clearly teaches us that it is sensible to control our tempers and that we can earn respect by overlooking wrongs.  And it is indicative that the ability to control our tempers is tied to the ability to overlook wrongs.  

Now when we look at scripture we should know that God’s wisdom is all inclusive, meaning that it is consistent with His various attributes of being good, forgiving, all knowing, just, and loving.   So when proverbs tells us to “overlook wrongs” we should understand that we are not to ignore wrongs or excuse them necessarily but that our tempers can be controlled by forgiving them.  

The process of “overlooking wrongs” has to be done with God’s wisdom. Some wrongs cannot be overlooked immediately and need to be prevented or corrected. God doesn’t ask us to let people walk all over us necessarily or to do evil deeds and let them go unchecked.  

God’s forgiveness comes to those who repent but God is also merciful to those who don’t deserve it, like all of us, so while we should stand for righteousness and resist evil  we have to be wise in our walk of faith by being discerning and not becoming bitter towards others because they sin against us.  

Christ instructed us to love our enemies.  That’s a dynamic that we fail to understand and really requires us to forgive and “overlook wrongs”.  So we have to draw close to God and use His guidance so we are “sensible” and can control our tempers.  

Learning which battles we should fight, what offenses we can overlook, and how we should respond in different scenarios all comes from knowing what God would have us do and applying His wisdom to our lives but at the same time we should also understand that we are to share God’s love with those around us.   

So examine your emotions in light of God’s wisdom and will for your life and realize that God’s greatest desire is for people to come to Him and that as representatives of His kingdom we have to walk in a way that will show His righteousness, wisdom, love, justice, and compassion.  

It’s easier said than done of course, but Christ overlooked the wrong of being hung on a cross and if He can do that because of His love for us, we can do the same regarding wrongs done against us for the love of Him.

 

As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk. 

Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating  

As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several sites for less than $5.00:

B. What Addictive Patterns Are Mistaken for Love?

Vanessa grows up in an abusive home with an angry, alcoholic father and a codependent, enabling mother. She escapes the reality of her world into the fantasy realm of romance novels and movies where she superimposes herself at the center of every story. The hero always saves her...and the story always ends with living happily ever after—for her.

But in real life, that's not what Vanessa experiences. She lacks a healthy self-image and the emotional maturity to realize that the attention she receives isn't love. Regardless, she soaks it up like a thirsty sponge.

Soon classmates clamor for dates with Vanessa because she never says no. She keeps searching for her hero and goes out with one boy after another. Addicted to the euphoria of the early elements of romance, her dates label her as "easy," but she truly is easy prey. She doesn't know how to say, no, and there's no real hero on her horizon.

Her dates have no interest in her as a person...it's all about them and what they can take from her. How much different her life could have been had she looked to the Lord for the deepest desires of her heart. The Bible says...

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Love's Mistaken Identities

Most might associate addictive behavior with drugs or alcohol, but relationship addictions are just as prevalent...and just as destructive. Three of these addictions include romance, relationships, and sex addictions.

The plight of these love addicts would seem without solution were it not for the Lord, who is the only true Savior, the One who loves them unconditionally and eternally. The Bible gives this assurance...

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." (Jeremiah 31:3)

  • Relationship Addiction (Codependency)
    • Codependent people today are those who are dependent on another person to the point of being controlled or manipulated by that person.
    • Codependency became the word that describes the dysfunctional behavior of family members seeking to adapt to the destructive behavior of the alcoholic.
    • Codependency is a relationship addiction. Just as the alcoholic is dependent on alcohol, the codependent is dependent on being needed by the alcoholic...or on being needed by someone who is problematic. Today, a codependent is anyone who is dependent on trying to help someone to the point of being controlled or manipulated by that person.
    • Codependent "enablers" enable addicts or dysfunctional people in their lives to continue with their addictions without drawing and maintaining boundaries. Codependency can be compared to the sin of depending on false gods that are powerless to help or depending on a broken water well that won't hold water. It simply won't work!
  • Romance Addiction
    • A "love" addiction in which you feel your identity is in another person (A weak "love addict" is emotionally dependent on someone considered "strong")
    • A "savior" addiction in which you feel your identity is in your ability to meet the needs of another person (A strong "savior" needs to be needed by someone considered "weak")

We learn in Jeremiah...

"My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." (Jeremiah 2:13)

  • Sex Addiction (Impact of Pornography)
    If only every addict would heed the words in the very first book of the Bible.... "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it" (Genesis 4:7).
    • Pornography is the depiction of erotic activity for the purpose of arousing sexual, lustful excitement.
    • Pornography debases sexuality and ridicules Christian values in favor of lust and immorality.
    • Pornography attempts to arouse indiscriminate sexual lust and devalues the human body, which God designed specifically for intimacy in marriage and for procreation.
      Jesus said..."You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).
  • Sexual Abuse/Incest Victims
    Children cannot change their parents; however, they can change their powerless responses in adulthood—choosing not to stay powerless. If you were abused as a child, your challenge—along with that of every victim—is to move from victim to victor... from sufferer to survivor... from emotionally overwhelmed to overcomer. By giving our lives to the Lord, we can experience Jesus' power to be an overcomer....
    "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

Victims

  • —Continue to feel like victims into adulthood, living with a "victim mentality"—still feeling powerless and therefore acting powerless
  • —Relive their past by moving from one abusive relationship to another
  • —Live in denial and refuse to face the dark, hidden secret of the past
  • —Possess no knowledge of how to find help and healing...having little hope of receiving either

Survivors

  • —Realize the need for facing the past in order to heal from the past
  • —Work hard to identify and resolve false guilt, shame, anger, and unforgiveness
  • —Honestly deal with debilitating issues such as personal sin and repentance, loneliness, and grief
  • —Commit to gaining mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual healing

Conquerors

  • —Live victoriously over the past—no longer in bondage to painful memories
  • —Develop an intimate relationship with Christ, giving Him control
  • —Grow in self-worth and the capacity to experience authentic love and intimacy with others
  • —Experience the desire and reality of reaching out and ministering to others

The Bible reveals this hope for victory...

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37)

Emotionally Stuck Victims

Question: "Why do many victims seem emotionally stuck?"

Answer: Abused children become developmentally delayed—emotionally. The abuse interrupts their ability to progress to the next stage of growth. It takes some degree of normalcy, safety, and a healthy home environment for developmental stages to be reached, goals to be met, and maturing to occur.

After the abuse is successfully processed, emotional healing takes place and developmental goals can be accomplished. Until this happens, victims can remain emotionally stuck, responding to life as children rather than adults. The ultimate aim is to experience lasting healing—to move from being a victim to being a victor—and to be able to say...

"Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." (Psalm 30:2)

Sexual Desire Vs. Lust

Question: "At what point does normal sexual desire turn into lust?"

Answer: It is natural to be attracted to someone, but unnatural to sexualize a person. When your mind moves from normal attraction...to consuming passion to do a sexually impure act, then you experience lust. The Bible warns..."People are slaves to whatever has mastered them" (2 Peter 2:19).

Is your sexual activity...

  • Secretive............................not within normal cultural boundaries and filled with guilt and shame?
    • —Living a double life
  • Hollow................................not a relationship with a spouse, but a relationship with sexual passion?
    • —Prioritizing sexual passion over people
  • Abusive...............................not uplifting to yourself or to others, but degrading to both?
    • —Exploiting others and debasing yourself
  • Mood-altering...................not facing difficult feelings, but seeking an emotional quick fix?
    • —Using sexual passion for comfort or to avoid working through painful emotions
  • Essential............................suggesting that you cannot live without sexual passion?
    • —Convincing yourself that sex is the most important thing in life The Bible says...

"Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires." (Romans 6:12)

Interdependence

Question: "What is wrong with people depending on people?"

Answer: We should have a healthy interdependence on others in the sense that we value and enjoy each other and love and learn from each other, but we should not be totally dependent on each other. Essentially, an interdependent relationship involves a healthy, mutual give-and-take where neither person looks to the other to meet each and every need.

Many people, however, have a misplaced dependence on others. These relationships are not healthy, for God intends for us to live in total dependence on Him. Over and over, the Bible portrays how godly people learn to have a strong dependence on the Lord rather than a weak dependence on each other. The apostle Paul said we should...

"... not rely on ourselves but on God..." (2 Corinthians 1:9)

Needing to Be Needed

Question: "I know I should date a woman who is secure and confident, but why am I attracted to women who are needy and insecure?"

Answer: You want to be a knight in shining armor and rescue a damsel in distress. But once you have rescued her and she goes on with her life, she will likely not value you as a person—only as a rescuer. Be wanted because of who you are, not because of someone's emotional unhealthiness.

  • Someone who is emotionally healthy will love you out of personal strength and will be able to accept you unconditionally, offering you security in the relationship.
  • Someone who is emotionally needy is typically self-focused and limited in sensitivity to the needs of others. Emotionally needy people are more often "takers" rather than "givers" in relationships and "use people up" emotionally.

Seek someone with emotional maturity and spiritual wisdom, someone who can help you grow more and more in your relationship with the Lord. Follow this biblical instruction...

"Walk with the wise and become wise." (Proverbs 13:20)


Biblical Counseling Keys: Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating.

---------------------------more tomorrow------------------------

 

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Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship