Bridging the Gap between Friendship and Marriage- Purity
544
Purity 544 10/08/2021 Purity 544 Podcast
Good morning
Today’s photo of the entrance and exit to the Buskirks Bridge in Buskirk
NY was taken by yours truly as yesterday’s journey caused me to take a new step
on to an uncertain path that is undertaken with the assurance of love and the
hope of faith.
Did you know, if you fake the g out of the word Bridge, you get the word
Bride? How about that!
Well when I took this photo yesterday on this side of the Buskirk Bridge,
I had no idea that I was going to ask TammyLyn Seguin to be my bride before the
day’s end.
Oh don’t get me wrong, we have known each other since the spring and
have grown in our relationship as fellow travelers on the path of Christian Discipleship,
and then as close friends, and have recently
revealed to one another the depths of our love for one another and the desire
to be joined together in marriage and not be parted until the Lord calls one of
us home. Through our discussions we decided
that we were more than friends and because we wanted to follow the Lord’s will
for our lives we both agreed that the next steps beyond friendship would be a quick
transition marriage that may cause the casual observer a case of whiplash from
the rapid transitions of our relationship.
Living together or having a relationship of casual or not so casual sex
wasn’t an option for us and is not an option for those who truly wish to follow
the Lord’s plan for relationships between men and women. Y’all better watch out
because I’m pretty sure we will have some victims of collateral damage from all
the shots fired from that statement.
Our society has compromised so much on sexual ethics and relationships
that a man and a woman agreeing to marry before having sex or living together
seems like a radical idea these days but is actually what the Lord would
encourage us to do: to value ourselves and one another by making a covenant of
love and commitment before giving away what is supposed to be reserved for
husband and wife.
So TammyLyn and I had already decided that this period of “boyfriend and
girlfriend” would be brief and had even decided on a tentative wedding date
before yesterday. I had only to get an
engagement ring and decide upon when and where I would propose.
I had even discussed with a secret co-conspirator in TammyLyn’s family a
tentative plan to propose to TammyLyn at a family outing at Whiteface Mountain
this weekend. In fact that was the plan. I expected to receive the engagement
ring today, Friday, and then pop the question on Saturday.
Which brings us to yesterday and today’s photo. On this side of the
Buskirks Bridge, I was proposing on Saturday.
On the other side of the bridge, I contacted the jewelry company that
was making the ring to find out when I could expect delivery and discovered
that I had mistyped my email address into the order and that I was to receive
the ring by 4:30pm on Thursday instead, a day early.
As anyone who has read this far probably knows, I teach a discipleship
class on Thursdays at Rock Solid Church. It was through my podcast and teaching
these classes that I met TammyLyn. TammyLyn has been the most faithful of all
the students who has been in my classes, driving an hour to attend and
sometimes being the only person to attend the class in person! So yeah, we could have been officially “in a
relationship” for a much longer time but we both had some soul searching and
growth to do in the months since we met to realize that we both wanted the same
things and that our love for one another was great enough to be committed to
overcome the challenges of bringing our two lives together with marriage.
So yesterday, when I got the news that I would have the ring in hand and
that I would be seeing TammyLyn at class, I felt a heavy conviction in my
spirit that “today was the day” that I was going to ask TammyLyn to be my
wife.
I considered the date. The date
was 10/7. And if we look at those
numbers we see:
a 1 which is the number for God the Father.
a 7 which is the number of perfection, and the number for the Holy Spirt
a 0 which is like a ring, a circle that has no beginning or end.
If we add these together we get an 8 which is the number for Christ the Redeemer
and just so happens to look like an infinity symbol when you put it on its side.
These considerations further convinced me that “today was the day”. So I prepared myself and on the way home, I
got the feeling to stop for gas at a gas station that charges a little more for
gasoline and one I normally wouldn’t stop at. But I was low on gas and didn’t
want to risk running out and breaking down on the way to my marriage proposal.
So I filled up.
As I pulled out of the gas station, all the doubts that “today was the
day” disappeared as I just so happened to pull into traffic behind a red
pick-up truck that had a large “jewel’ decal on its back window that looked a
lot like an engagement ring. If I needed
a final sign, God in His sovereign timing provided it. As I drove most of the way down Route 9J, a
symbol that represented marriage was placed right before me.
When we “walk in the Spirit” God reveals Himself and His will for our
lives in all kinds of ways. Sometimes He gives us a conviction to change. Sometimes
we just feel overcome by peace, joy, or love when we worship Him. And other
times the Holy Spirit will give us an intuition or a compulsion to do something
good that will bless someone else and usually blesses us too.
So, yesterday, even though I had a bunch of ideas about how things were “supposed
to” play out with my engagement with TammyLyn, when I felt my heart and spirit
lead me to take a more immediate, more sudden, and more spontaneous route to
our betrothal I felt compelled to follow it.
In further consideration, this new “sudden” plan would actually be
appropriate in that I would be proposing to the woman I loved in the place and
context with which we first met and as it turns out it would also just happen
to be the place where we first kissed.
So what are you going to do? Do you do what your spirit is telling you
to do or do you do what has been planned or is more traditional or expected?
Well, since I have been trying to follow the Lord’s will for my life with
increasing progress and dedication since 2010, I have learned that while we may
not fully understand what will happen from “following the Spirit” and know all
the possible implications and consequences for doing so, the Spirit of God hasn’t
led me astray yet.
I value the relationship that God has with me and I have seen the fruits
for faithfulness in the past. So
yesterday, when I felt that familiar leading of the Spirit, I decided I not
only felt compelled to follow the call, but I wanted to make TammyLyn my fiancé
with all my heart and soul. In this
instance, doing the will of the Lord was also going to give me the desires of
my heart.
So last night just before class was to begin, I told TammyLyn about the
significance of the day with my numerical ponderings and then, on bended knee,
presented her with the engagement ring I had just received an hour or so
before, and asked her to marry me. She
speechlessly nodded her ascent to the question and when prompted verbally said “Yes”
to being my wife.
So brothers and sisters, walking in the Spirit down the path of Christian
Discipleship is not an easy road to follow but I can tell you that it’s a journey
that is paved with peace, joy, and love and when you keep walking and talking
with God and follow His leadings you will find that He is indeed working all
things together for your good.
The Lord will never leave us or forsake us and through the fellowship of
the saints and forming other godly relationships He will provide you with
company for your life’s journey. So keep
going with God and see what He has for you on the other side of the bridge from
today to tomorrow and from here to eternity.
If you can believe
it I ran out of index cards for Bible verses! So I will be drawing verses from
a gift I received from my beloved TammyLyn, although we were “just friends” at the
time she gave it tom me. The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men is the resource and:
This morning’s meditation verse is:
Psalm 147:10-11 (NLT2)
10 He takes no pleasure in
the strength of a horse or in human might.
11 No, the LORD’s delight is in those who fear him,
those who put their hope in his unfailing love.
.
Today’s verse tells that
the Lord isn’t really delighted by the strength of human might but is delighted
by those who fear Him and put their faith in His unfailing love.
The idea that God
helps those who help themselves is not really drawn from scripture. While God
does have a cooperative relationship with us in which He expects us to be
responsible for “our part”, ultimately our acceptance by the Lord is not
something that we earn through our efforts or the strength of human might.
By faith we are
saved, and if we understand what “walking in the Spirit” really means we also
understand that our victories, our overcoming, and our progressive
sanctification are also brought to us by faith. When we believe we are set free, suddenly
the shackles come off and if we “keep on believing”, we keep on receiving an
abundant life of freedom that is defined by the fruit of the spirit.
To fear God is to
recognize His power and to respect it, to recognize His truth and to believe
it, and understand His will and to perform it.
But it also involves recognizing God’s love for us and to accept it and
share it.
So stop trying so
hard to “do something” and start fearing the Lord and put your hope in His
unfailing love that has the power to heal and transform your life. Our walk with God is a love relationship so
show your love for Him by respecting who He says we are and by doing what He
calls us to do. We are not to be afraid
of the Lord. We are to have a deep reverence and love for Him that takes what
He says very seriously and causes us to obey what He calls us to do and just so
happens to lead to a life of peace, joy, and purpose.
As
always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from
prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with
their walk.
Today we conclude sharing from June Hunt’s Dating:
Secrets to Great Relating When Dating
As always, I share this information for educational purposes
and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and
to support her work. If you need this title you can find it online at several
sites for less than $5.00:
B. What Is Contemporary Courtship?
Emily's friends sometimes wonder if Andrew is for real. When she first tells
her friends about him, they ask if he is crazy...or if Emily is the one who has
lost her mind. They think one—or both—live in the past and has no sense of the
reality of today!
The cause for concern is because Emily and Andrew have committed to court
instead of date. But this is no nineteenth or twentieth century form of
courtship...this is contemporary courtship.
Andrew has asked her parents for the privilege of courting their daughter,
assuring them that his intentions are sincere and honorable. And they have
agreed, knowing their daughter is fond of Andrew. Likewise, they, too, admire
Andrew, having spent considerable time with him to ascertain his beliefs, his
aspirations, and the strength of his character and belief in God.
During this time of courtship, Andrew and Emily will spend time together,
but they agree to remain accountable to both sets of parents. Surely God will
bless them for honoring this significant commandment...
"Honor your father and your mother." (Exodus 20:12)
Since emotions come and go, passionate love may be here today and gone
tomorrow. Divorce courts are full of statistics verifying the impermanence of
romantic love. However, the pleasures and promises of a lasting marriage are
built on more than passing passions. Common ground, such as having the same
spiritual and cultural foundations, is a basis for more permanence in marriage.
For this reason, courting is on the increase with teenagers and young adults in
many places of the world.
- Courting
is a term used when a man seeks to gain the attention and favor of a woman
with the ultimate intent of engagement and marriage.
- Courting
puts a strong emphasis on spending time in group settings to see whether
there are multiple areas of common ground.
- Courting
provides the opportunity to publicly practice and display...
- —Moral
values and spiritual foundations
- —Personal
likes and dislikes
- —Social
and relational skills
- —Maturity
and experience
- —Physical/sexual
restraint
The Bible asks this
rhetorical question...
"Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" (Amos 3:3)
Biblical Counseling Keys: Dating: Secrets to Great Relating When Dating.
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