What Did You Expect? – Managing Responses and Finding
Peace Purity 572
Purity 572 11/10/2021 Purity 572 Podcast
Good morning
Today’s photo of the Greek Coastline, presumably from a boat on the
Mediterranean or Aegean Sea, comes to us from a friend who recently enjoyed their
honeymoon there and who assured their friends that even though their trip was
delayed a year because of the Covid-19 pandemic, Greece exceeded all their
expectations.
It’s Wednesday and for many of us this Hump Day will exceed all normal
expectations for a Wednesday because tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and many of us
will have the day off. So Wednesday becomes Friday, a phenomenon that I would
say is extremely uncommon except for the fact that the vast majority of us will
experience this “freaky Wednesday” again
in two weeks when we will be celebrating “Thanksgiving Eve”.
Managing our expectations is one of the best ways to foster contentment
as we can mentally cool our jets before we enter into an experience to avoid
being disappointed if our reality doesn’t match up with the way we envision how
things will come to pass.
The holiday season is usually where most of us have learned of the pitfalls
of getting our hopes up, as many of us have experienced our “worst Christmas”
and were forever changed by it. For most
of us there was that one Christmas when the magic just wasn’t there as we
either didn’t receive what we were hoping for under the Christmas tree or, even
worse, we received a most unwelcomed yuletide gift of an unexpected loss, tragedy,
or trial.
That initial “Bad Christmas” was a pivotal moment in our lives as a part
of our innocence was lost and we learned the lesson that we didn’t always get
what we wanted or that tragedy, trials, and loss were a part of life that could
even invade the joyous season of Christmas.
Now that “Bad Christmas” should have taught us to appreciate the good
times when we can have them and to temper our expectations about life in
general.
However, those disappointments, trials, tragedies, and losses could also
drive us into an attitude of self-pity and as I learned through my pre-marriage
counseling sessions recently, self-pity is a cancer that can not only affect
the one feeling sorry for themselves it can also ruin the relationships that
the sufferer is in.
The material we are reviewing (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts BY
Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott) teaches the valuable lesson that we are each
responsible for our own emotional responses, that you partner’s responses
should not be given the power to effect how you feel.
People are imperfect and will not always respond the way we expect so we
have to be emotionally mature enough to not be pulled into despair or anger if
our partner doesn’t give us the response we wanted from them.
Our expectation of another to make us happy is unwise and if we hold the
expectation that our partners will make us happy at all times we will either be
filled with self-pity, resentment, or seek to blame them for our unhappiness.
Self-pity, resentment and the blame game are the responses that lead to unhappy
marriages, and in many cases divorce.
When we respond with self-pity, resentment, or by blaming our partner,
we tend to separate ourselves from them emotionally and stop communicating
because of our unfulfilled expectations.
To break the chain reaction that could result in a communications break
down, we need to take responsibility for our emotional responses by managing
our expectations and by communicating openly and compassionately when we run
into disappointments.
By considering the other person’s experience, what may be involved in
our not receiving what we expected, and talking about it, we can learn how to
effectively communicate what we need in our relationships and how we can
support one another through life.
The only One who knows our thoughts and needs perfectly is God and He
directs us to love our neighbors as ourselves.
That means we are to consider their needs above our own and to love them. So when we are disappointed by life or by people’s
responses to us or situations, we should try to see the situation from the Lord’s
perspective and see where we can be patient rather than take offense, and to
act to help and heal rather than to cause harm or division.
Life can be full of disappointments due to circumstances, other people’s
responses, and our own expectations. So keep walking and talking with God so
you can see the truth about the situations you are in and act in a way that
will foster contentment, settle disputes, and bring peace and love.
When we walk in the way the Lord calls us to walk, we become minsters of
His love and wisdom. When we act compassionately, we can not only be a light in
the darkness for others, but we can also calm the troubled hearts that may be
beating in our own chests by seeing that in God we have all we need for life
and godliness and all the answers to life and death.
Today’s Bible verse
is drawn from “The NLT Bible Promise Book for Men”.
This morning’s meditation verse is :
Lamentations 3:23 (NLT2)
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
Today’s verse reminds us of God’s faithfulness
and the blessings that come with each new day.
Some days are filled with problems and
trials. Sometimes friends and loved ones disappoint us. Sometimes we can feel that nothing is going
right and that we are all alone.
In a life that is separated from God,
the potential for days like these is very high because when we believe that our
life in the here and now is all there is, there is no hope. Science shows us that things fall apart and
if we have no considerations for a spiritual dimension to our lives, life is a
desperate struggle to find circumstantial happiness and to try to maintain it with
the realization that every moment is another moment closer to our eventual extinction.
Platitudes of leaving a legacy behind or
being remembered are cold comforts when the eventual extinction of the universe
is considered in a worldview that doesn’t allow for God.
But God is real, and His word reveals that
He has a plan for a new heaven and a new earth that will override the
expectations of our material observations.
The word of God also reveals that the Lord
is faithful because it is filled with the testimonies of men and women who have
been delivered and transformed by God.
The fact of God’s unseen presence is
with us is documented in the word of God and can be experienced when one
establishes a relationship with God by putting their faith in Jesus
Christ.
God created the universe and the way it
operates and even for those who don’t believe in Him, He has created the order
that gives us a new day every 24 hours from which we can start again. The Lord is shown faithful even to the unbeliever
by the regularity in which the new days come.
“The sun will come out tomorrow” may be
a hit in the musical Annie but it is a truth and a reality that is created by
God and is only one evidence for His faithfulness.
So thank the Lord for a new day. Forget
about yesterday’s troubles, or better yet learn from them, and take solace in
the fact that no matter how the day goes today you will be able to seek rest at
the end of the day and have a fresh new one waiting for you tomorrow because
God is faithful, and His mercies are new every morning.
As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org where I always share insights from prominent Christian counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s “Evil and Suffering… Why? Is God Fair?
As always, I share this information for educational purposes
and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and
to support her work.
C. What Is "Just"?
A fair and impartial judge, an honest and forthright business person, an
objective and equitable employer—all represent what we know and appreciate
about those considered to be just. Some people say, "Our nation is
a just nation." Is this true? Consider the following definitions:
- The
English word just is a legal term that means either
"conforming to a standard of correctness" or "acting or
being in conformity with what is morally upright or good."
- Justice
refers to the law, jurisprudence is the science of law, and the "justice
system" sets the legal standard.
- The Greek
word dikaios is
sometimes translated as each of these words: "just, justification,
right, and righteous."
- Just
and right are often used interchangeably throughout the Bible to
mean...
- —In
right standing
"See, he is puffed up; his desires are not upright—but the righteous will live by his faith." (Habakkuk 2:4) - —Right
conduct
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8) - Right
standing and right conduct are always measured against a standard.
- —When
two people secure a marriage license before marrying, they are in right
standing within the legal system.
- —When
a man is convicted of a crime, his wrong conduct is illegal.
Illustration:
The chief priests found Jesus guilty of breaking the Jewish religious laws, but
Pilate found Him innocent of illegal conduct according to Roman law.
"As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they
shouted, 'Crucify! Crucify!' But Pilate answered, 'You take him and crucify
him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.'" (John 19:6)
Question: "Why is God partial toward some
people?"
Answer: The
Bible says God does not show partiality. It may appear from our limited view
that God favors certain people over others. However, God loves and cares for us
all equally.
"God does not show favoritism." (Romans 2:11)
Biblical Counseling Keys: Evil and Suffering... Why?: Why
God? Why?.
---------------------------more
tomorrow------------------------
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