In our Celebrate group, one of our guys said he was having doubts about God and didn't want to come to our weekly meeting. He came the next week and admitted that he only had a single day sober but we supported and encouraged him all the same and he seemed to be all right.
This week he contacted me about going to the meeting via text and asked if it was all right to come if he had been drinking. I asked if he was drunk. He said no but he smelled like booze. I told him not to drink anymore, to shower and brush his teeth, and I would pick him up. The meeting was 3 hours away so I figured oh well better at the meeting then home alone drinking.
I picked him up and he admitted to drinking since we spoke but he would behav himself. I wasn't thrilled ( or sure about what to do) with the prospect of taking someone under the influence to the meeting. Part of me was ready to tell him to go sleep it off and to come next week but I decided to bring him so we could counsel him. I wasn't sure what was going to happen and frankly I was annoyed with having to worry about his behavior.
Fortunately, he didn't act outlandishly during the teaching portion and was respectful.during the small group discussion. He admitted that he had been drinking and he didn't know how he was going to move forward. He was receptive to advice but seemed to be consigned to his failure. He said that he knew he was killing himself slowly but was hopeless on doing anything to stop it. His sponsor and I spoke on the power of God to change him and urged him to give himself back to the lord. He had left the Lord but the Lord hadn't left him. He broke down and cried that he wanted to be restored but didn't think he could do it again. We asked if we could pray for him. His sponsor and I prayed over him to let The Holy Spirit inside him drive out this spirit of hopeless addiction. As his sponsor prayed, I prayed in tongues feeling the spirit move me to. (Okay I know most people think praying in tongues is charlatan tricks or just insanity, but that is not my experience. I am no expert and would refer anyone interested in the subject to check out Robert Engelhardt's book "Speaking in Tongues: Heavens Language" https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=node%3D154606011&field-keywords=Robert+Engelhardt%27s+. ). Then I prayed over him (in English!) for him to surrender to the Lord and to know that God's infinite love and forgiveness was enough to cover his failure and that the Lord's power could change his heart and mind to break these chains that were binding him if he would just let go and let God.
He thanked us for praying for him and I took him home. I told him to get rid of any alcohol he had but he advised me that he had drank it all. Although I prayed for him, I was not to hopeful. He lives alone and could do whatever he wanted. His attitude towards drinking and smoking weed ( "out of weed too, Marc! He had shared.) was pretty bad so I was afraid that he might fall I spite of his willingness to look for help. The next day my fears seemed confirmed.
"I try and I try to no avail." He posted on his wall.
I replied with “Deuteronomy 4: 30 When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the LORD your God and obey his voice. 31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them.”
I didn't get a reply. Work took me away for the day and after I went straight to church for a Goid Friday service.
His sponsor was there and he asked if I had heard what happened. My heart sank. "He checked into detox. The Holy Spirit was there working last night when we prayed over him!"
"Praise the Lord!
Unlike most Good Friday services, my church's was a prayerful worship filled celebration and I prayed and worshipped with great enthusiasm last night!
I know praying for others might make you feel awkward but God can move all things and he is listening. So keep praying!
March 22, 2015 was the day I woke up hung over,
prayerfully, for the last time. I had
entered the Celebrate recovery program at Rock Solid Church in Hudson NY two
weeks prior and had been excited at the prospect of cleaning up my life but
circumstances had put me in an environment where I thought the pressure to not
drink was too much, so I didn’t even try.
I wish I could say that the last time I went drinking was
an epic party to end all parties but it wasn’t.
Don’t misunderstand me. I didn’t
say I didn’t have fun. There was live music,
nice people, lots jokes, and laughs. There
were also drugs, desperation, dysfunction, and the signs of 30 years of
indulgence in the faces of those in attendance.
The ravages of alcohol and drugs and the emptiness of trying to recreate
moments of youthful exuberance were all around me. Even
in the moment, I saw this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing, or even wanted
to do anymore, as a Christian. The
morning after my hangover wasn’t that bad but my soul ached that I had broken
my fellowship with Christ. I repented
that morning, asking God to forgive me for walking back into the darkness and
to help me not to go back ever again.
God is good to forgive us our sins if we ask (1 John 1:9)
and even though I failed, I felt that God had answered my prayer. I went to the next Recovery meeting confessing
my failure expecting criticism but finding acceptance. I left with a determination not to fall again
and to surrender my life daily to God.
God has been faithful. I haven’t fallen. I had never conceived of the possibility of
living without alcohol for a year. Some
of you, who read this, may not either.
However, if you trust in God, pray to Him to help you, and continually
turn to Him to lead you; He will set you free.
I have completed the Celebrate Recovery program and now
lead worship at our meetings (NOW with live mic and electric guitar! WHAT?!?!?)
. I have begun teaching, on occasion, because I
have been there, I get it, and I know what is possible if you put yourself into
it. If you are in the Hudson area on Thursday
nights, we meet at 6:30 pm at Rock Solid Church.
More importantly, I stand as a sign post pointing to the
one that can save you, heal you, and free you: Jesus Christ. It’s great to get sober but He can do so much
more. He has revealed to me that getting
sober was only the beginning of a new life in partnership with him. With Christ, I have earned an Associate’s
degree in Biblical studies, conquered the fear of public speaking, and gone on
mission to Africa. In my journey, I have
gained continuing revelation of truth and my purpose in life. He has revealed to me the errors in my
thinking and changed my priorities to be a faithful follower, husband and
father.
I don’t know what issues, problems, hang ups, or concerns
you may have. But I know this: Christ
cares about you. He loves you. And He can give you new life. This Sunday we celebrate His Resurrection:
the proof that He is the Son of God and everything He said is the truth. This Sunday can be the day you can start a
journey that ends in joy and eternal life.
I invite you to celebrate His Resurrection this Sunday at Rock Solid Church;
services are at 8:30 & 11 am. For
information about our church go to: http://rocksolidchurch.net/.
I wish all who read this all the best and I pray that you
let Christ be the one to lead you in this life and beyond in His eternal
Kingdom. God Bless You!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ALL! I wish everyone a joyous, festive, and safe
day. I also would encourage those
celebrating to recognize that St. Patrick’s Day is more than just celebrating a
national heritage; it is the celebration of the spreading of the Gospel of
Jesus Christ and the hope of eternal life that was brought to the people of
Ireland. Below I am sharing an excerpt
from David Jeremiah’s book “Upward Call”, that I hope you will find as
informative and inspirational as I did. Erin Go Bragh!
“Patrick’s
Troubles
“Always
carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus
also may be manifested in our body.” – 2 Corinthians 4:10
Today is the day that the patron saint of Ireland Saint
Patrick is honored. A native of Britain,
he was captured in the late fourth century A.D. by Irish pirates at the age of
sixteen and enslaved for six years in Ireland. During that time he committed
himself to Christianity. He escaped and returned to his family in Britain where
a few years later, he had a vision of the Irish calling him to return and
minister to them.
Rather
than resenting his years as a slave to the Irish, Patrick used the time as a
shepherd to contemplate what it meant to know Christ, what it meant to know God’s
forgiveness. He left Britain as an
unconverted teenager but returned as a believer in Christ. Without those six
years of suffering, who knows how different Patrick’s life may have been. And
who knows how many Irish might have never heard the Gospel through Patrick’s
ministry in Ireland in the 5th century?
Times of
trouble in life, be they brief or extended, require a change in perspective. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to
me?” we must ask, “What is God doing in my life? What does He want me to learn
in this situation?” “ -David Jeremiah from Upward Call
I have been gone too long. I need to share to
tell you, and to remind myself, of all the wonderful things the Lord has done
for me.
Well I made it back alive from my mission trip to
Africa. My life was never really threatened
but we are never promised tomorrow and I suppose there were plenty of moments in
my trip where my life could have ended:
plane crashes (6
flights in total),
disease
(Ebola screenings!),
street violence (I’m assuming Soldiers/police in downtown
Harare and in the Shop Rite in Livingstone carry AK-47s for
show),
falling to my
death from a fool hardy trip halfway down a 500 foot gorge (I was wise enough
to turn back when I realized that Crocs didn’t offer the best footing and that
it wasn’t worth it. An exhausted companion who did the entire
trek later confirmed “It was stupid!” Apparently the river below didn’t offer
much more than the view from above, except swarms of mosquitoes and flies. )
However, the Lord watched over me and I am safely back
home.
It was an incredible experience that I will never forget.
The fact is dedicating two weeks of my life solely for the Lord’s purposes was
one of the greatest things I have ever done.
I felt like I was my ideal self:
all my time could be categorized as working for the Lord or proclaiming
the gospel and my personal testimony.
All throughout the trip I felt I was being led by the Holy Spirit. Every
devotional or gospel message seemed to lead to the next in a purposeful
unfolding that made everything I encounter seem truly momentous: AS IF IT WERE
MEANT TO BE!!!
The mission team
from my church were united in spirit and purpose with no division or conflicts
which isn’t always the case with large groups of diverse people (16). I found a new level of respect for Pastor
Jaron Halsted and Pastor Mike Lambert as they ably lead and ministered to the
group with great skill.
The team spent a week in Harare Zimbabwe where we did
concrete and tile work that would help support an orphanage that was funded by
Pastor Ephiel Mukamuri of Logos Rhema Ministries. Pastor Ephiel welcomed the
team into his home and was a most gracious host providing for all the teams
needs during our visit. While in
Zimbabwe, I spoke at Pastor Ephiel’s church and two schools that he supports
sharing my personal testimony and the Gospel.
We ended our time in Zimbabwe with a picnic with the orphans, dancing,
and praising the name of Jesus in song.
The team then went to Livingstone Zambia where we did
brick and mortar work for a school that the Temple of Power church is
building. Pastor Nelly Chibwela opened
up her home and heart to the team richly providing for our needs during our
visit. While in Zambia I preached at
Temple of Power Church and at Pastor Buster Tembo’s House of Testimony
Church. Near the end of our trip the
team crossed the border into Botswana for a day long Safari, where we took a
river Safari and then hopped into trucks going into the bush! The African landscape was graced by
spectacular blue skies and sunshine as the team spied, herds of elephants,
lions, wart hogs, baboons, crocodiles, hippos, impalas, lynx, and
cheetahs. Our final day in Zambia we
went to the awesome splendor that is Victoria Falls.
My time in Africa was well spent and I don’t regret it
but in life sometimes things aren’t always so wonderful.
The truth is my wife, who doesn’t share my zeal for
missions or evangelism, was not happy with my decision to go to Africa. I had made a determined decision to go
regardless of her feelings and she barley communicated with me while I was
away. What made matters even worse was that Michele suffers from recurring
kidney stones and infections. She was hospitalized just before my trip but she
was out when I left, granted with a subsequent appointment to remove a stint
while I was to be away. Things took a
turn for the worse and she had to be hospitalized while I was away, another
stint had to be put in. She was
extremely angry for what she sees as me abandoning her. Upon my return , she was cold telling me she
had contacted a lawyer in regards to getting a divorce. She was also very ill. She refused to go to
the Hospital that day but after a night of vomiting and not being able to keep
anything down we were headed back to Albany Medical Center.
While I was in Africa, I had left under the strain of a
spouse who didn’t fully support me and I could understand why some people leave
their families, or some people go into the mission field for good. The problems of my life back home were gone,
geographically distant and removed. I
really felt the urge to leave, find a nice Christian woman, and spend our lives
being missionaries. However, the Holy
Spirit was leading me while in Africa. The messages I heard were about
forgiveness, hope, and love. I strained
and prayed mightily for guidance but as much as I was taken with the life of a
missionary and preacher that I had come to experience everything I heard told
me to go back home and minister to my wife, to show her the love of Christ that
has changed my life so much. I sulkily
agreed that this was what the Holy Spirit was telling me to do, so I
reluctantly agreed to go home, apologize to Michele, and to begin to honor,
love and obey her as our wedding vows commanded.
So I apologized and started to do things to
be there for my wife, reluctantly agreeing to stop going to Bible college to be
there for her. I took her to her doctor
appointments and started doing things around the house to get things in
order. I still had fantasies about
running off with some Christian woman and being a missionary but I decided to
serve my wife regardless of my irrational feelings. Understand me when I say I was really grieved
about this conflict between my desires and what God was telling me to do but I
also felt good about being there for Michele and getting the house in order (AS
IF IT WERE MEANT TO BE).
I’m happy to
report that after days of speaking words
of encouragement and serving my wife I had a revelation about my irrational
thoughts. I discovered that all my
thoughts of running out of my marriage were just insane flights of fantasy that
I had given power to by dwelling on. I
realized that in my mind leaving my wife and finding love elsewhere was built
as an option to consider so I had opened a door to sin. It’s the tenth commandment : You shall not
covet (Exodus 20:17). I was wanting
things that weren’t mine and it was wrong.
As a married man, I was supposed to love my wife like Christ loved the
Church (Ephesians 5:25). I haven’t been faithful to my wife like I should have
been. God was calling me to repent.
I am happy to say that Michele has fully recovered from
her infection and that she has forgiven me.
I have made it plain to her that I am going to love honor and obey her
to the best of my abilities and things are going well.
I was chasing after God relentlessly to the exclusion of
my wife. I felt the call to the mission
field and went in faith. My visions of a
revival sparked by my visit to Africa weren’t realized but the Holy Spirit
spoke to me. Apparently, God wanted to get me alone for a while to show me what
was important. Galatians 5:22-23 says” But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, self-control.
Against such there is no law.” I have spent two and a half years
learning about God and faith but hadn’t put the lessons I had learned into
practice in my marriage. God sent me to
Africa to show me that He is awesome and ever present and to tell me to exhibit
the fruit of the Spirit in my life and marriage. .
I know I will be challenged and I might fail sometimes. I
know that I may never get my wife on board with the Spirit-filled Christian
life that I want to live. She may tire of me and leave me but I am going to try
to do God’s will for my marriage.
Pastor Mike’s wife, Sue Lambert, had to endure 8 years of
marriage to him before he gave himself to the Lord. Now he is a Pastor!
In the Bible, Joseph was in prison for years before he was
raised to prominence and saved his family and the entire nation of Egypt. Moses spent 40 years in the desert serving
the Lord and never set foot in the Promised Land. Paul was rendered blind when Christ was
revealed to him with no knowledge that his sight would be restored and he would
go on to give his life spreading the gospel.
The point is serving God isn’t without hardship and it is
not about receiving a reward here on earth (Matthew 5:12 Rejoice
and be exceedingly glad, for greatisyour reward in heaven, for so they
persecuted the prophets who were before you.).
I am going to try to do what God would have me do in my life
and marriage without the expectation of reward.
I am going to serve, honor and love my wife as an expression of my faith
in Jesus Christ. .
Well today is the day! In a few hours I will be on a plane off to Africa. The last few weeks have been crazy: getting acclimated to a new crew at work, hitting a deer on the Taconic parkway, rushing Michele to the hospital with a kidney infection, doing 4 papers in 2 days for the Bible college, and being in a frantic state of mind preparing myself for the trip. Many would say to call it off and just stay home but I received a call to go on a mission trip almost 2 years ago now. I have faith that I Am supposed to do this. Believe me at times I have doubted it especially since Michele's medical problems but I still have this sense that I am meant to go. So I go! I have to trust and have faith.
I have to trust that Michele will continue to heal and with the help of her friend, Sandy, get the care she needs. I have faith that my kids will be obedient to their mother and do their school work. I have to have faith that God will watch over them while I'm away.
I have to have faith in the plane! I have to have faith I will arrive and leave safely. I have to have faith that I will do some good work for the Lord while I am in Africa. I am not sure wheather the purpose I am going has to do with the people I meet, the work we will do on the schools and churches, my walk with the Lord, or all of the above but I have faith that God is with me in this.
This exercise in faith of mine is no different from yours really. Although I am going an ocean away and things are uncertain for me, those who stay home are trusting that things will be good. They are trusting they and their family will remain healthy, will keep their jobs, will be safe, and they won't hit a deer on the way to work! I can tell you, though even here in the safe U.S.A., these things are not certain.
Only one thing is certain. God is good, he came to earth as Jesus Christ and He paid for our sins on the cross. If you have faith in Christ, you will have eternal life with Him (John 3:16).
In Matthew 28 18. Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Christ has given me salvation and a new life. So I go. God bless you all.
Well for anyone who actually reads my blog regularly (I guess
that would mean anyone having read it more than once lol! ); I apologize for the 2
week hiatus. My last entry was a memorial to my friend, Jim
McEathron and it took a lot out of me emotionally.
On the heels of my last entry there was another
significant loss to the body of Christ. On
January 3rd, Pastor Vaughan Jarrold died unexpectedly. I only
had the pleasure to hear Vaugh preach and teach on a few occasions but was
deeply impressed with this mighty man of faith.
I was so impressed with Pastor Vaughn that when he invited people to
receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit a couple of years ago at Rock Solid
Church, I eagerly stepped forward to receive it. I was nervous and didn’t know what to expect
but when Vaughn spoke over me I was filled with the Spirit and did speak in
tongues. It freaked me out at the time
and I know people don’t understand it but I credit the baptism of the Holy
Spirit and the gift of tongues for giving me direct experiences with the Holy
Spirit and for being the catalyst for my spiritual growth and my ongoing
victory over alcoholism. Although I only had limited exposure to
Vaughn, I am forever indebted to him for the impartation of the Holy Spirit’s
baptism and the gifts and victory that have followed it. I didn’t know Vaughn’s wife and family but my
thoughts and prayers were directed towards them in the wake of his passing.
After New Year’s Day, Rock Solid Church observes a period
of fasting and prayer to encourage spiritual renewal for the upcoming
year. The fasting and prayer are
completely voluntary and you set your own guidelines. After the stress of my job changes, the
holiday season, and possible symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (where is
the sun!), I was really looking forward to placing my focus on the Lord and
doing a Bible study I had been intending to do.
The fasting period was from January 4th to the
6th and with my busy schedule of morning exercise, prayer, commute, and
work I discovered it was relatively easy to not eat during the day. At night I stayed out of the kitchen and
retired to my basement retreat to get into the Bible Study. My general
attitude and demeanor during this time was that of an Augustinian monk,
complete with pullover hoody to keep me warm in the chill of the basement. I think next year I will read by candlelight
and do some Gregorian chants to up the ante.
The
Bible study was about Spiritual Warfare focusing on Ephesians 6:10-20 where the
Apostle Paul encourages us to “take
up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day,
and having done all, to stand.” It is a powerful study about Christians preparing themselves with truth,
righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, prayer, the word of God, and the
assurance of their own salvation to with stand temptations and overcome the challenges
the face as Christians.
I wish I could say
I made great progress with my study but the truth is that I didn’t get too
far. Distractions popped up and I was so
tired that I only managed to study for a little over an hour the first two
nights of the fast. However, although my
study was incomplete, the insights I had were eye opening.
According to the study, “…we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against
principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age…”
but having fasted I felt the struggle was “against flesh and blood”, mainly my
own! I had cravings to eat but then I realized that the cravings were not
particularly physical in nature. I stayed
hydrated and my body wasn’t screaming for food.
All the demands for food seemed to be coming from my mind, out of habit,
or just a compulsion to act or fill a moment with activity. After the first day I realized I could live without eating constantly and I didn’t have to be a slave to answering mental cravings
and compulsions.
Going into day two of the fast I felt such relief and
reflected that this could be what Jesus was referring to when he said in Matt
11:28 “I will give you rest.” When we
put aside the demands of the world and our own flesh and press into our faith,
we can experience a clarity and peace that is only possible when we are
directing ourselves to follow the Lord.
I was deeply impressed by how trivial my normal concerns and interests were
when put in comparison with the things of the Lord. I felt that there was nothing nobler than to
seek and follow the will of the Lord for my life.
With this perspective I examined my thought life,
internal dialogue, personal narrative, or whatever you want to call it and I
was deeply convicted of how mundanely selfish and sinful I am. My introspection revealed what I considered
to be a somewhat base reptilian instinct to serve myself and my selfish desires
with little or no thought to consequences for myself or others. Worse yet my reflections on my thought life
revealed a historical tendency to indulgences in irrational and potentially
damaging fantasy. Mostly theses
fantasies would stem from mental musings of “What would you do if”, “If you
could do anything…”, and “If I wasn’t …” I realize these are probably normal
mental diversions but I realized that they were a waste of time that encouraged
irrational thought and discontentment.
So I would end up hoping for things that can’t happen or if pursued had
the potential to destroy life I have come to know. The major problem with this form of mental
diversion is that the truth of who I am and what I have is lost. I have realized that a lot of the crazy
things I have done in my life have been the result of long periods of mental
musings where desires over ruled common sense.
The great thing about realizing all this was that I now had the insight
to break these trains of thought as they arise by focusing of who I am in Christ. At the end of day two, I felt like I was
really making progress.
So on day three of the fast,
the last day, I figured I had it made in the shade. I had my busy day of work ahead of me to be
followed by Wednesday night worship at the church and then straight to bed. Bam!
Next morning = big breakfast of a spiritual champion! So I was feeling great. I had a major insight
into my thought processes and I saw myself overcoming all distractions to serve
the Lord but then I told one of the guys at work that I was fasting and
immediately I thought of Jesus’ comments regarding the Pharisees and fasting in
Matthew 6:16-18, which basically says to keep your fasting to yourself; don’t
make a public display of it. By telling
my co-worker I was fasting, I felt like I had been overcome with pride and whatever
spiritual progress I had made was lost! The condemnation came fast and quick after
that. After going home, I figured I blew
so I ate. After I ate I felt that I was
a hypocrite and I couldn’t go to church which would be a prayer fest of
faithful fasters! I was a total failure!
The fast has been over for
10 days and I am happy to report that I got over my “failure” and I had a
revelation that Jesus isn’t looking for perfection. The gift of salvation is through faith in Jesus
and what He did, not me. It was a free
gift and I can’t pay it back with my “good” behavior.
I realize now that the
spirit of condemnation that overcame me was not a spirit from God. It is the works of Satan that tempts and that
would have Christians condemn themselves.
I was focused on pressing into my faith in Christ. Who would want to stop that? Ironically, I
was doing a study on Spiritual Warfare only to end up a causality of it. However, I am thankful for the insights I had
during the fast and will try to use this experience to take up the whole armor
of God in my defense in the future.
I hope all who read this are
well and I would encourage you to embrace your faith in Christ by getting into
the word of God and attending a Bible believing Spirit filled church. I invite
anyone in the Columbia County area to attend services at Rock Solid Church in
Hudson NY, at 8:30 and 11 am Sundays, and 7 pm Wednesdays.
I would also recommend
listening to the Bible for free through the https://dailyaudiobible.com/ website or
download the Daily Audio Bible App for your smart phone or tablet. I started using it on the first of the year
and it is a great way to get the Word in your life.
I only knew Jim McEathron for a short time but I am happy
to say that he is my friend and brother in Christ.
I met Jim at Rock Solid Church a couple of years ago
because we were both regular attendees of the services there. As I recall we both were participants in the
living nativity that the church did at the Winter Walk in Hudson New York. I was a Roman Soldier and I think Jim was
too.
Now Jim was a scruffy looking guy who you could tell had
been through some hard times in his life. I had assumed that he was
significantly older than me. Let’s be
honest he looked a little rough and when you add Bible carrying-religious enthusiasm
to a rough exterior you may wonder if the person is mentally balanced. I’m a
little introverted at times and was somewhat standoffish in meeting new people.
Jim was friendly though and I quickly gathered he wasn’t
insane. He was a devoted follower of
Christ. He attended services on Sundays
and Wednesday nights and was an enthusiastic participant during worship. He was active in the Wednesday Night Bible
classes, adding to discussions, and often quoting scripture and contributing significant
insights.
After Winter Walk, we would exchange pleasantries and
greetings at church. I knew his name so
I would stop say Hi when we saw each other on the street or at a local
store. I even saw Jim at prayer the one
night I went during the January fasting of 2015.
In February, Bob Costello announced the beginning of
Celebrate Recovery and Jim was on the leadership team. When it was announced, I knew this program
was for me and I knew I was all in. I
knew Jim and told him that I would be attending and he was very
encouraging.
After a few weeks, the recovery program starts to discuss
getting the support of an accountability partner or sponsor and I immediately
thought of Jim as someone I could turn to.
They say Celebrate Recovery isn’t therapy but for me it was. I had
shared all my dark secrets and sins to the guys at Recovery and Jim was always
there to offer his support and encouragement.
So after the teaching on accountability partners and sponsors, I
exchanged phone numbers with Jim.
One of my accomplishments of 2015, was celebrating the
completion of an Associate degree in Applied Science in Telecommunications Technology
from Hudson Valley Community College. At
the end of the previous semesters, my classmates and I would get together for
lunch to celebrate another term over. At
the last lunch, I had enthusiastically drank more than a couple of beers. So here I am, a few months sober and
anticipating going into a social situation where drinking is an option, and in my
head, an expectation if not an obligation.
It felt like the most normal
thing in the world to throw care aside and drink deep in the celebratory
atmosphere. I was worried I was going to
throw away my sobriety. So I called
Jim.
I can’t recall Jim’s exact words but he talked me through
it. We discussed my options. He suggested that if I was incapable of going
in and just having lunch without drinking that I should just not go. He told me it was my decision whether or not
I drank. He asked about the last lunch and whether absolutely
everyone drank or if it was just a few.
I admitted that it was just a few that drank with enthusiasm, some only
had one or two drinks, and some of the class didn’t drink at all. Jim was showing me that not everyone drinks
to excess and some don’t drink at all. I
was to for now on to consider myself as one of this last group: don’t drink at
all. I told him I thought I could do it; Just eat lunch
and leave without drinking. Jim made me
promise to call him if I felt the urge to drink and to call him when I was done
with lunch. He wanted to make sure I
made it through okay.
That was the day I discovered, I could go to lunch with
people drinking, laugh, joke, and have fun without drinking myself. This may seem a simple thing for most but for
me it was a milestone for sure. I did it because Jim was there for me. He used
common sense and scripture to show me that I was a new creation in Christ and
that the habits of the old man really could be left behind. I had a great time at the lunch and couldn’t
wait to tell Jim when I got back in my car.
He congratulated me and I thanked him profusely for his guidance.
After that day Jim was my friend, accountability partner,
and brother in Christ. He supported me
in my recovery when I was extremely vulnerable.
He counseled me regarding my sobriety, faith and thought life. Jim
always brought me back to the word of God to show me who I was in Christ and
what I should do. We talked on the phone
regularly supporting one another.
Shortly after this, Jim’s health took a very bad turn.
His liver was diseased and without a transplant he would die. Through tears Jim announced that He was going
to Florida to see about getting treatment and possibly a transplant. He was worried about his health but he was
greatly saddened having to leave his church and the recovery group. After Jim left we talked on the phone a few
times and he shared that the transplant wasn’t going to happen but he was
trying to be positive and saying that everywhere he was going he was wearing
his I Love Jesus that and he was sharing the gospel with the doctors down
there. I was greatly saddened by what
this meant but proud that Jim was staying faithful.
A few months ago Jim returned to New York. I remember seeing him at church for the first
time in months and rushing to embrace him.
His countenance was somewhat jaundiced and you could see he was in a
great deal of pain but he smiled and hugged me tight when he saw me telling me
that I looked good. I told him that I
was on the leadership team for Celebrate and invited him to come.
Jim was in a lot of pain but he did come to group one
more time. It pained me greatly to see
that the disease had taken so much out of him and I could see he wasn’t going
to last much longer. That night I hugged
Jim and told him I loved him knowing I wouldn’t see him again. I started praying for God to take him
home.
In December, Jim went to St. Peter’s Hospital. On December 22nd, Jim died.
Obituaries list who you are related to, who died before
you and who you left behind. They sometimes tell you where you went to
school, where you worked, and what your hobbies were. They
rarely give you any idea of the deceased’s status with God. Jim’s tells of his active participation in
his church, his love of the Bible, and his time ministering to people in
recovery.
When I heard the news of his passing, I was sad but
immediately thought that Jim was in heaven with Jesus and that his suffering
ended the moment his life passed here on earth.
I pushed away my tears and laughed thinking of Jim restored and new in
heaven with a smile from ear to ear dancing on the streets of gold.
I miss my friend
but he helped me when I needed him and I know he is in a better place now.
Jim didn’t just die and cease to exist. Jim went home to be with the Lord in
paradise.
I’ll see you there. Brother.
For those reading this, please don’t be remembered for your
love of a baseball or football team, a hobby, or where you worked. Be remembered for the love you had for God
and how you shared it with others, like my friend Jim did.
Colossians 3:1-2 “If then you were raised with Christ, seek
those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of
God.Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”
