Unhappy wife? Yup, your fault.

In my pursuit of loving my wife like Jesus loved the church, I started reading Dave Earley's 14 Secrets to a Better Marriage and thought I would share show of his words of wisdom.  

"Different Responses

"Because God assigned husbands a leadership role in marriage, He designed wives to subconsciously react to the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of their husbands’ leadership. A wife tends to react to the signals her husband sends and the circumstances he creates. As I began to understand this, I realizedEncouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship

 that if I was not happy with my wife’s responses, I should look in the mirror for the cause. Often she was simply reacting to my actions, or lack thereof." 

Early then shares lists of wife's and husband's  reactions, putting them side by side to demonstrate how they influence each other.  I have taken the contents of those lists and present them here as "If and Then statements". They are intended to give guys an idea of why your wife acts the way they do.  

If your wife Nags about things that need attention, then you are Unreliable—slow to act.  

If your wife is Impulsive in her spending, then you are Untrusting or domineering. 

If your wife is Permissive with kids, then you are Angry or over-demanding with kids. 

If your wife is Overly Emotional, then you are Insensitive. 

If your wife is Domineering in the home, then you are Inattentive.

If your wife is Critical, then you are Irresponsible.

If your wife is Insecure, then you are Highly critical.  

If your wife is Fearful, then you are Impulsive or careless.

If your wife is Cool and distant, then you are Harsh or hurtful.

Bad news guys; it's our fault after all.

The Good news is that if we take responsibility for the status of our marriages and lead like we are supposed to we can change what we do to get the responses we want.

I am walking this out right now and no I wasn't thrilled with the news either but I am "MAN" enough to accept the challenge to lead my marriage.  I might have to act sooner, listen, and do things differently but if  removes those unwanted reactions from my wife, it will be worth it.

After all, happy wife; happy life right? 

Freedom from Past Sins

During a recent discussion, a new believer in Christ was moved to tears contemplating the sins of their past and the fear of facing final judgment.  The recovery team presented the truth of God's forgiveness that is given to those who place their faith in Jesus Christ.  Our words were a great comfort to this young believer who now has a better understanding of what it means to be in Christ; but how often do we beat ourselves up over past failures, forgetting the promises of God?

I offer this prayer, of my own composition, as a way to remind ourselves of what we have in Christ and the freedom we are to walk in.

Lord God,

Let me not forget that I have been forgiven of all my sins, My slate is clean. I need only confess current sins to reestablish my fellowship with You because my past sins have been forgiven and forgotten by You.  The Holy Spirit lives within me and when You consider me Lord, You see the righteousness of Jesus.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so I will stop condemning myself for past failures but will instead look to the future and how I can glorify You.

Thank you God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit for making me whole.

In Jesus' name, I pray.

Amen

GOT HOPE?

I've been cleaning up my study area which has been cluttered receipts, old mail, and miscellaneous garbage. However, I am glad I am going through it carefully because I keep finding bits of paper where I took notes at a Bible study, one of my classes, or at recovery.  
Today I found the following, which came from my sponsor & mentor, Bob.  I have cleaned it up with fancy fonts and reordered things a bit and added some additional translations of the scriptures quoted.   

This simple study is powerful for encouraging those who struggle (um... all of us) with life's difficulties. If you're looking to build yourself up, recitation of the scriptures and the text in red, is a powerful way to speak hope into your life.  

It’s Worth It

2 Corinthians 4:17 (NKJV)
¹⁷  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,

2 Corinthians 4:17 (BBE)
¹⁷  For our present trouble, which is only for a short time, is working out for us a much greater weight of glory;

2 Corinthians 4:17 (GW)
¹⁷  Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing for us an eternal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine.

Live with Eternity’s Values in View

My Crown outweighs My Cross

My Purpose outweighs My Pain

My Destiny outweighs My History

My Hope outweighs My Present Problems

My Favor outweighs My Failures

My Grace outweighs My Shame

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV)
¹⁶  Rejoice always,
¹⁷  pray without ceasing,
¹⁸  in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (BBE)
¹⁶  Have joy at all times.
¹⁷  Keep on with your prayers.
¹⁸  In everything give praise: for this is the purpose of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (GW)
¹⁶  Always be joyful.
¹⁷  Never stop praying.
¹⁸  Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this.

Praise the LORD

One last note of interest, the original document had PTL inscribed at the bottom, and I was clueless as to what it stood for.  After a google search, I slapped myself mentally: PRAISE THE LORD, duh.  Apparently I am not completely sanctified yet.  Also avoid urban dictionary when looking up abbreviations; 100% sure Bob didn't mean any of those translations.  

May God Richly Bless You. 

Marc

Do you believe in magic?

Want to change your life magically? I'm not  sure how to do that but my Sponsor Bob shared with me a D. James Kennedy devotion, that if the imperatives (highlighted in Red) are followed, can work wonders in your life.   I hope you find this simple lesson to be a profound help in your life. - Marc

  The Christian’s “Magic Wand”

“Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving” – Psalm 95:2

Have you ever wished for a magic wand that could change all the unpleasantness of life into something good? Wouldn’t you love a way to instantly sweep away all the trivial things that accumulate until they drag you down?

  I believe the Lord has offered us something similar to a magic wand. It can change our outlook on the circumstances surrounding us. What is it? Gratitude. When we feel grateful, our perspectives toward things change. We see our circumstances in a new, more positive light.  And when we have grateful hearts, we want to express our gratitude outwardly through thanksgiving. This can work in reverse, too. If we give thanks even when we don’t feel very grateful, we often feel our attitudes change in a more grateful direction, just as if we passed a magic wand over ourselves.

  Thanksgiving transforms the secular or commonplace into the sacred. When we give thanks to God, suddenly we see God everywhere! We find ourselves living in an enchanted land, a land in the presence of our great Creator and Redeemer. With our spiritual eyes open, we can see that it is God who gives us everything, from our daily bread to the money we need. Our faith grows stronger as we express gratitude. All things become suffused with the divine presence.

  And as we recognize God’s blessings, our thankfulness gives us victory over temptation and sin. How can we commit adultery when we are grateful for ours pouses? How can we steal when we are grateful for and content with what we have? How can we envy others’ talents and abilities when we feel thankful for the way God has made us? How can we grumble or complain when we’re thankful for God’s blessings?

  We should thank God, and we should also show gratitude for the ways others have blessed our lives. Everyone needs the kind of lift that gratitude brings.

  What are you grateful for today? Thank God for all the blessings He has given you, and see how it changes your perspective on life. And don’t forget to express thanks to someone who has enhanced your life. I hope that in your thanksgiving you’ll experience joy. 

https://www.djameskennedy.org/devotional-detail/the-christians-magic-wand

“When you drink from the stream remember the spring.” – Chinese proverb

Power of Prayer in Recovery.

In our Celebrate group, one of our guys said he was having doubts about God and didn't want to come to our weekly meeting.  He came the next week and admitted that he only had a single day sober but we supported and encouraged him all the same and he seemed to be all right.  

This week he contacted me about going to the meeting  via text and asked if it was all right to come if he had been drinking.  I asked if he was drunk. He said no but he smelled like booze.  I told him not to drink anymore, to shower and brush his teeth, and I would pick him up.  The meeting was 3 hours away so I figured oh well better at the meeting then home alone drinking.  

I picked him up and he admitted to drinking since we spoke but he would behav himself.  I wasn't thrilled ( or sure about what to do) with the prospect of taking someone under the influence to the meeting. Part of me was ready to tell him to go sleep it off and to come next week but I decided to bring him so we could counsel him.  I wasn't sure what was going to happen and frankly I was annoyed with having to worry about his behavior.  

Fortunately, he didn't act outlandishly during the teaching portion and was respectful.during the small group discussion. He admitted that he had been drinking and he didn't know how he was going to move forward. He was receptive to advice but seemed to be consigned to his failure. He said that he knew he was killing himself slowly but was hopeless on doing anything to stop it.  His sponsor and I spoke on the power of God to change him and urged him to give himself back to the lord.  He had left the Lord but the Lord hadn't left him.  He broke down and cried that he wanted to be restored but didn't think he could do it again. We asked if we could pray for him.  His sponsor and I prayed over him to let The Holy Spirit inside him drive out this spirit of hopeless addiction.  As his sponsor prayed, I prayed in tongues feeling the spirit move me to.  (Okay I know most people think praying in tongues is charlatan tricks or just insanity, but that is not my experience.  I am no expert and would refer anyone interested in the subject to check out Robert Engelhardt's book "Speaking in Tongues: Heavens Language"   https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=node%3D154606011&field-keywords=Robert+Engelhardt%27s+. ).  Then I prayed over him (in English!) for him to surrender to the Lord and to know that God's infinite love and forgiveness was enough to cover his failure and that the Lord's power could change his heart and mind to break these chains that were binding him if he would  just let go and let God. 

He thanked us for praying for him and I took him home.  I told him to get rid of any alcohol he had but he advised me that he had drank it all.  Although I prayed for him, I was not to hopeful. He lives alone and could do whatever he wanted. His attitude towards drinking and smoking weed ( "out of weed too, Marc! He had shared.) was pretty bad so I was afraid that he might fall I spite of his willingness to look for help.  The next day my fears seemed confirmed.   

"I try and I try to no avail."  He posted on his wall.  

I replied with “Deuteronomy 4: 30 When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the LORD your God and obey his voice. 31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them.”

I didn't get a reply.  Work took me away for the day and after I went straight to church for a Goid Friday service.  

His sponsor was there and he asked if I had heard what happened.  My heart sank.  "He checked into detox. The Holy Spirit was there working last night when we prayed over him!"

"Praise the Lord! 

Unlike most Good Friday services, my church's was a prayerful worship filled celebration and I prayed and worshipped with great enthusiasm last night!   

I know praying for others might make you feel awkward but God can move all things and he is listening. So keep praying! 

NEW LIFE: ONE YEAR SOBER

March 22, 2015 was the day I woke up hung over, prayerfully, for the last time.  I had entered the Celebrate recovery program at Rock Solid Church in Hudson NY two weeks prior and had been excited at the prospect of cleaning up my life but circumstances had put me in an environment where I thought the pressure to not drink was too much, so I didn’t even try.

I wish I could say that the last time I went drinking was an epic party to end all parties but it wasn’t.  Don’t misunderstand me.  I didn’t say I didn’t have fun.  There was live music, nice people, lots jokes, and laughs.  There were also drugs, desperation, dysfunction, and the signs of 30 years of indulgence in the faces of those in attendance.  The ravages of alcohol and drugs and the emptiness of trying to recreate moments of youthful exuberance were all around me.   Even in the moment, I saw this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing, or even wanted to do anymore, as a Christian.  The morning after my hangover wasn’t that bad but my soul ached that I had broken my fellowship with Christ.  I repented that morning, asking God to forgive me for walking back into the darkness and to help me not to go back ever again.

God is good to forgive us our sins if we ask (1 John 1:9) and even though I failed, I felt that God had answered my prayer.  I went to the next Recovery meeting confessing my failure expecting criticism but finding acceptance.  I left with a determination not to fall again and to surrender my life daily to God. 

God has been faithful.  I haven’t fallen.  I had never conceived of the possibility of living without alcohol for a year.  Some of you, who read this, may not either.  However, if you trust in God, pray to Him to help you, and continually turn to Him to lead you; He will set you free.

I have completed the Celebrate Recovery program and now lead worship at our meetings (NOW with live mic and electric guitar! WHAT?!?!?) .    I have begun teaching, on occasion, because I have been there, I get it, and I know what is possible if you put yourself into it.   If you are in the Hudson area on Thursday nights, we meet at 6:30 pm at Rock Solid Church. 

More importantly, I stand as a sign post pointing to the one that can save you, heal you, and free you: Jesus Christ.  It’s great to get sober but He can do so much more.  He has revealed to me that getting sober was only the beginning of a new life in partnership with him.  With Christ, I have earned an Associate’s degree in Biblical studies, conquered the fear of public speaking, and gone on mission to Africa.  In my journey, I have gained continuing revelation of truth and my purpose in life.  He has revealed to me the errors in my thinking and changed my priorities to be a faithful follower, husband and father.  

I don’t know what issues, problems, hang ups, or concerns you may have.  But I know this: Christ cares about you. He loves you. And He can give you new life.  This Sunday we celebrate His Resurrection: the proof that He is the Son of God and everything He said is the truth.  This Sunday can be the day you can start a journey that ends in joy and eternal life.  I invite you to celebrate His Resurrection this Sunday at Rock Solid Church; services are at 8:30 & 11 am.  For information about our church go to: http://rocksolidchurch.net/.

I wish all who read this all the best and I pray that you let Christ be the one to lead you in this life and beyond in His eternal Kingdom.  God Bless You!

Happy St. Patrick's DAY 2016

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to ALL!  I wish everyone a joyous, festive, and safe day.  I also would encourage those celebrating to recognize that St. Patrick’s Day is more than just celebrating a national heritage; it is the celebration of the spreading of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the hope of eternal life that was brought to the people of Ireland.  Below I am sharing an excerpt from David Jeremiah’s book “Upward Call”, that I hope you will find as informative and inspirational as I did. Erin Go Bragh!

“Patrick’s Troubles

“Always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” – 2 Corinthians 4:10

Today is the day that the patron saint of Ireland Saint Patrick is honored.  A native of Britain, he was captured in the late fourth century A.D. by Irish pirates at the age of sixteen and enslaved for six years in Ireland. During that time he committed himself to Christianity. He escaped and returned to his family in Britain where a few years later, he had a vision of the Irish calling him to return and minister to them.

            Rather than resenting his years as a slave to the Irish, Patrick used the time as a shepherd to contemplate what it meant to know Christ, what it meant to know God’s forgiveness.  He left Britain as an unconverted teenager but returned as a believer in Christ. Without those six years of suffering, who knows how different Patrick’s life may have been. And who knows how many Irish might have never heard the Gospel through Patrick’s ministry in Ireland in the 5^th century?

            Times of trouble in life, be they brief or extended, require a change in perspective.  Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” we must ask, “What is God doing in my life? What does He want me to learn in this situation?”  “   -David Jeremiah from Upward Call